Hashtag ishdik is real

ch:13

Hardik's pov:

As I look at Ishan's sleeping form, my heart is at peace. I couldn't sleep much after ishan had fallen asleep on the bed diagonally. I placed him on his side of the bed and covered him with the blanket, although it was summer, still kinda chilly coz of the open night sea breeze.

I look at the clock it's almost 6am . The sun has started to peak up from the far sea line. I walked to the balcony and sat there, remember the deeds I did to ishan.
Why did Ishan let me do that to him. He was more sober than I was, or that was what i thought. I scrolled through my inst, than i remembered about the FF, so i quickly read the update. ..

It's amazing how the author has made me fall in love with ishan so easily. Where as in real life I am still struggling to accept that I might be in love with ishan.

It's just i don't wanna see anyone taking control of him, even i don't wanna control him, I just want him to be around me. If it weren't for shubman no one would have been here in the first place, it would have been just me and ishan on our secret lil vacation. I wish I didn't respond to shubman's texts or calls.

But here thay are, yes I love them a lot, I missed them too. But this I just wanted it for me and ishan. To get to know him better, to find out my own feelings for Ishan. Ever since I saw the comments of the vid ishan uploaded, I've been obsessing over him.

Wait that won't be true, ever since Ishan surprised me with his visit to congratulate in in person, that was when i started feeling special.
Because there were many people coming back from winning the world cup but ishan chose to to be the first.

I've imagined kissing ishan several times , even in the vid when I asked him to kiss my other cheek what I really meant was kiss me on the lips. But i couldn't say it back then.
And yesterday when shubham kissed ishan I couldn't take it, how could ishan let shubham kiss him , that too so passionately

First thought was, I just wanted to shove a punch on shubman's face , but i can't do that infront of everyone, not when I don't know myself why I wanted to do it in the first place.

The second thought was to push shubham aside and kiss ishan in his place.

But I was stuck in my place to see ishan enjoying the kiss a lil too much from my thoughts.

Then without anyone noticing I took 4-5 more shots. I was feeling dizzy by the time we started walking towards the room. It was when ishan entered the darkness of the room, his form looking so seductive through the transparent white shirt, clinging to some of his chest coz of sweat , got me overwhelmed by my desire and the anger from earlier.

Tho as I am sober now I think about it , I don't really regret it, I do want ishan all to myself,

So as he walked behind me I slumped my hand on his shoulder pulling him closer to my side. And leaning in to give him a quick kiss to say 'good morning '.
He steps back. I thought he remembers all of it, all that happened between us. And he liked it, tho the expression on his face something otherwise, and he was looking at me with despised eyes.

So I turned around and looked at the sea as if nothing has happened, as if it meant nothing at all.

But It did mean a lot to me. Ishan means a lot to me, and if doesn't want it , i don't know what to do, i don't think I can force him like i did last night , that wasn't really me, or was it? The real me, and I am just fakeing everything when I am sober.

As he runs to the bathroom, I understand, it can't really be me, the one wanting ishan, even if I want him, he surely showed that he doesn't want me.

'Why would anyone want me?'

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"shubi, do you think i should just wear this black t-shirt or the black shirt?" I asked ,holding up 2 of them in my hands.

"Shirt. Shirt always looks better on you. But not gonna lie tho you look hot in everything, and mostly nothing;)" he blinked at me looking at my chest, and licking his lips coz he was gorging on chips.

"😬Just go and wash your hands" I said making a disgusting face at him while he was licking his fingers off,

"I don't want you to make the sheets dirty, shub" I say eyeing him from the mirror.

"Who knows who made the sheets dirty" shub said in a serious voice.

I turned to look at him. With a surprise on my face.

Then he laughed a lil and waved his hand for me to keep dressing on. Who knows what goes on in this man's shit brain.

"Go and get dressed don't you wanna go out, or are you planning to roam around in that choti chaddi?" I said laughing.

"Isn't it sexy you can look at my sexy legs in these" he said while taking out my clothes.

"I wanna wear this!" He said holding my shirt.

"Fine but my trousers won't fit you Mr. " I said pushing  him out of the room so he can go and get dressed.

I finished my dress up and was heading out when hardik returned to the room. We were standing in front of each other some distance apart but i felt like there was a deep deep pit between us which I couldn't make myself cross.

I look at his wet vest , he's been in the gym for hours now, his muscles all flexed. I remember how it felt on my back, hard muscles , and a shiver passed through me. I tried looking up to meet his eyes, but i couldn't.

Insted i said while acting to fix my watch
"I am going out with shubman, don't want for me, I'll be late , probably".

Then I looked up, he just nooded, his eyes too cold, without any emotions,
How has the chill and cheery hardik turned so cold in just a few hours.

My tears were threating me to come out, but why was I do emotional right now?.

If ur didn't mean anything to him, and he didn't feel anything about it, i should be unbothered as well.

Straightening my posture, I walked away, without Saying a bye. He probably went inside.

*Hardik stood there looking at Ishan's back, till he disappeared at the elevator.*
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_______________to be continued _________
💋 XOXO
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Yours,
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