Chapter 19

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I shouldn't have stayed

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I shouldn't have stayed.

The thought wouldn't leave my head as I stood in the living room of the penthouse, my hands holding Zee's head. His face was buried in my stomach as another choked sob racked his body. My fingers held tighter, keeping him close to me as the sting of guilt threatened to take over.

I should have left with him from the country. I should have insisted.

Even though he'd asked me to say. Even though he'd told it was important.

I should have fought with him. I should have been more stubborn.

"It'll only be one day, Nunew."

Golden eyes were on me, a small smile ghosting across his lips as his fingers stroked down my cheek. I had him trapped against the kitchen counter, my hands on his hips, my eyes holding his gaze.

"It's too long." I leaned forward to nudge my nose against his neck.

I could feel his body relax against me, though, he didn't move to embrace me back. I frowned and nuzzled closer, my lips softly caressing his collarbone. He'd dressed in his usual button-up and trousers today, dress shoes on, hair slicked back neatly. Back to business as usual. An end to the bubble we had created. Not that this bubble hadn't come with its own type of hardships. It definitely had.

Which is why he told me to wait one more day before coming back. He'd wanted me to spend a bit more time with my mother since we were finally learning to understand each other. I knew he was right but it didn't make the time apart any easier. Our relationship was new too and the obsession was still there, raw and real, making me crave every second I could have with him.

"You were gone for days before I showed up here, baby."

"That was different and you know it." My lips fell into a pout as I backed away from him. His smile had grown and my brows fell. Did he find this amusing?

Zee leaned down, his golden eyes bright as he softly brushed his lips against mine. I pushed up on my toes, silently asking for more, but he didn't lean back in. My mouth turned down into a frown as he his hands grabbed my hips, squeezing gently before moving me away from him.

"You need this time, just the two of you." His hand was on my cheek once more, cupping it as he murmured, "It may not be easy but I think it'll give you what you're looking for."

I stared silently, watching as his smile slowly faded. A more serious look stretched across his features.

"And what am I looking for, Zee?"

"Closure."

He had been right. I'd realized it the night before when I'd stomped out to the forest, desperate to finally face my father, only to freeze as I walked past the first few trees. I hadn't ever made it to where he was buried. When Zee had found me, I'd realized why I had been so headstrong to find my father's grave in the first place. I was seeking something that I would never find. Not completely, anyways. My father would forever remain a scar over my past, one that I still wasn't quite ready to accept. It hurt to know that there would always be unanswered questions— that I'd always cling to hope that maybe towards the end he had started to understand me. Maybe even accept me. I knew it was wishful thinking but somehow the thought gave me a small sort of peace.

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