WhiteFish

WhiteFish - Part 2

"Can I ask why you're out here, Savanna?" I observe her while she speaks, her striped, knee-high socks, her furry, purple jacket and massive, blue headphones hanging around her neck. Her hair is a soft dirty-blonde, tied up and clearly matted.

"I have no parents, no siblings. They abandoned me when I was a child, I was sent to live with my widowed grandfather. He abused me. It was luck that I found Jesse online and he pitched the idea of WhiteFish to me."

"You've been here for almost two years?"

"Yes, we came here early last year, how long did you plan to stay?"

"Not long, just a weekend or maybe a week at most."

"I think you'll find it hard to leave once you get used to the place, we all become family after a short period of time." Savanna smiles at me as the boys walk up the stairs. Jesse's smile is gigantic as usual.

"You didn't tell me your friend, Quin, was so cool!"

The boys move into free spaces on the bed, in the end we are all squished against one another. I am squished between Quin and Jesse, Savanna across from me. This begins to feel fun, like I'm part of something. I imagine this is how Miranda felt in the beginning, maybe that's why things only got worse, it felt too good to stop.

The pipe is passed around the circle, we discuss our history and personal traumas. Jesse says his father was physically abuse and his mother died of a brain aneurysm at thirty-four, about five years ago now. He has two brothers who are older than him, they moved on with their lives as soon as they were able to work, meaning they were able to avoid most of the abuse.

Savanna recounts how she lost her parents at a young age and was sent to her grandfather. "He raped me from the day I arrived. Nobody would help me, I had no other family to contact, he homeschooled me. I was stuck with him." Tears fill her eyes and both Angel and Jesse lean in to hug her.

Quin mentions how his family is the most normal, although they do have domestic disputes daily and his father is abusive towards his Mother, but she refuses to leave his Father.

"It's been hard to watch. I've gotten into physical fights with my family, but he worked with the army and he's not a weak guy." Everyone had the same look on their faces. A mix of sadness for what they were hearing mixed with a sense of peace, knowing they were with each other now.

"Angel? What's your story?" I ask, hoping to not be met with anger due to my careless intrusion.

"Well," he lets out a deep breath, "my mother was murdered. My father drank himself to death because of it. I moved around from foster home to foster home; nobody wanted a broken Indigenous child. Eventually I chose to live on my own." The room went silent.

"Your mother was murdered?" I ask, ready to share how I can relate with him.

"My band knows who was involved but we have no proof. Policemen of the area know what happened. All we got was her mutilated body left in the bushes, luckily a hiker found her before animals scavenged the rest of her." Angel clenches his fists and teeth.

"Angel has been incredibly strong given what he's been through." Savanna reassures, leaning her head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around her head and kisses the top of it softly. Everyone turns to look at me.

"Phew, uh.." I stutter, looking at Quin, his eyes tell me he's encouraging me to speak as well and won't save me right now.

"I watched my mother overdose last night." I take a sharp breath in, "she had gotten into drugs only six months ago now, before that she was just a weekend bar-hopper with her girlfriends. I'm not sure what else to say about it right now, I'm still lost for words. I never knew my father and I had one older brother, but he overdosed as well, two years ago now." I begin to run my hand through the fuzzy purple blanket laid across the bed, picking out each hardened piece of fabric.