"The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have."
— Ring Lardner
3 September 2017
Osaka, Japan
"It's fine, guys. I'm going to head off first," Emiko reassured her group of friends with a lighthearted smile and a little wave.
As she was about to turn around, Kotoko grabbed her arm, stopping Emiko from leaving.
"Are you sure? You could come over if you want. I'll cancel my plans with him, and we could have a girls' night. What about that?" Kotoko urged, concern lacing her voice. "I mean, it's a Friday, and you could stay over for the weekend."
Emiko smiled softly, placing her hand on Kotoko's and shaking her head. "Kotoko, I'm fine. I just have some things to take care of. Maybe another time?"
Kotoko sighed as Emiko removed her hand from her arm. "Okay..." She gave in with a small smile. "Another time."
Emiko nodded and glanced at her group of friends. "Bye, guys."
She waved at them, who stood together outside the school gates. The late summer sun stretched their shadows across the pavement, their smiles comforting yet worried as they waved back.
As Emiko turned away, her smile faded. She made a few steps away from the school gates before hearing her friends murmuring their concerns about her.
"I know it's been a month, but Emiko seems really affected by Oscar leaving and that fight she had with Nana. She seems to be shutting down."
"Do you guys know what happened with her and Nanami?"
"No, I don't think anyone knows. Are her parents back from Kyoto yet?"
"I would assume so... it's been a month..."
Feeling a pang of guilt in her chest, she turned back with an exaggerated smile that hopefully reached her eyes, waving at them one last time before skipping away.
But the second she rounded the corner, out of view, her cheerful demeanor shattered. The weight of everything settled back on her shoulders.
Recently, everything that was once familiar felt alien. Every street on the walk home was unusually quiet, every turn unfamiliar, and her home now felt like just a house. The emptiness she'd been feeling over the past month seemed to grow in her chest.
Her parents had been away for over a month, calling for a few seconds before hanging up to tend to another emergency. Emiko knew this was expected, but for some reason, it felt like a stab to the heart this time.
Maybe it was because her talk with Oscar had made everything real. Maybe he'd opened her jar of forgotten feelings. Maybe he forgot to protect it, forgot to close it. Or maybe he smashed it on the ground, letting all the emotions come rushing back.
She felt stuck in one place as everything around her moved on.
Kotoko had gotten a new boyfriend over the summer. These days, Kotoko was always with Dan, wrapped up in their new relationship. Emiko was grateful for Dan since Kotoko didn't focus all her attention on her anymore. Kotoko still invited her over for dinner, but Emiko always declined. Deep down, she knew Kotoko would cut her evening short and kick Dan out of the house just to invite her for dinner, but Emiko didn't want to be a burden.
Xander had been spending more time with his mother, watching all her plays and bringing her flowers. He invited Emiko once, but after that, she never went again. Being there felt like intruding, and a part of her wished it could be her and her own mother instead.
Kenji had his own responsibilities at home. His parents were on a business trip, leaving him to take care of his grandmother and younger sister. He'd asked Emiko if she wanted him to walk her home, as it was on his way to his sister's school, but Emiko refused. She didn't want to take more time away from Kenji that he could spend with his family. Even Kenji's grandmother had invited her for dinner a few times, hearing that Emiko was home alone. Emiko politely refused, convinced it wasn't her place.
Then there was Nanami. They hadn't spoken since their fight, and probably wouldn't anytime soon. Last week, Nanami transferred to a different school because of her mom's job. Part of Emiko expected her to reach out after the hurtful things she said, but what would Nanami have to apologize for? Everything she said had been true.
The front door clicked open as Emiko walked into the house, discarding her school bag and shoes at the entrance. She dropped the bag of onigiri she'd picked up from the convenience store on the coffee table before turning on the TV. Lately, onigiri had been her go-to dinner—quick, easy, and requiring no effort.
The living room was dimly lit, the flickering light from the TV casting long shadows on the walls. The TV was just white noise, drowning out the quietness of the house.
As the TV droned on in the background, Emiko's mind wandered back to the past month. Oscar's broken promise, Nanami's cutting words, her parents' absence. For once, she had let herself open up, and this was the result. She had allowed herself to lean on someone, and in return, she had been let down.
She had buried these feelings long ago, at four years old, when she accepted that her parents would never give her the attention she craved. She had learned to live with the emptiness, to lock it away where it couldn't hurt her. But after that conversation with Oscar, all those emotions came flooding back. Every night, they hammered at her heart until she couldn't handle it anymore, leaving her to cry herself to sleep.
For sixteen years, she'd barely shed a tear over the situation, but now it seemed like all the tears she'd bottled up were finding their way out. And the worst part? She felt pathetic. Weak. She hated this vulnerability, hated that she had let herself be this exposed. She wanted to bury it all again, to lock those feelings away and never let them resurface. But she wasn't sure if she could this time.
Her eyes drifted to the empty spaces around her, the familiar objects in her home now feeling distant and foreign. She finished her meal in silence, the taste bland and forgettable—just like how she felt.
As she cleaned up, going through the motions of her nightly routine, the thought struck her again: Am I really this easy to leave behind?
Ring ring
"Okasan? Hi..." Emiko picked up her mother's call as she sat on the edge of her bed.
"Huh? Oh, Emiko? Did you call me? Sorry, I—"
"Got to go..." Emiko whispered, finishing the sentence, already knowing her mom had hung up.
YOU ARE READING
Daarin | ダーリン | Oscar Piastri
Fanfiction|ON GOING| 7 years ago, an exchange programme brought them together, with a documentary on the side. And here they were again, 7 years later. Just like when they were 16, but... it was different this time. Start: 15 July 2024 End: Book 1 of the stri...
