UNTIL DAWN

Chapter One

HAZEL'S POV

I found a cab in the left corner after almost five minutes of walking. I told the driver the directions to the hospital, and he started the engine but my mind was not at ease. I tried to concentrate on the street lamps to keep my mind away from thinking about the kind of a person I was even though I knew deep down I should have made the same choice without any hint of hesitation.

I was the worst, I know.

The streets were still empty that early morning, a few people were on their way to work, especially those who worked outside the big city. A dog was barking in the neighborhood and on the other side of the road there was a drunk man who was zigzagging seemingly unaware of what was taking place around him. At that moment I wanted to be like him.

I wanted to be numb about everything.

I wanted to bury my conscience because the guilty was eating me alive.

I didn't want to think.

A few minutes Mike's name flashed on my phone screen as if mocking me. I wanted to turn back time before last night but at that moment, I was pretty sure that even if it was to give me the same choice, I should have done the same. The guilt I was feeling was unbearable, but I had to deal with it at the end of the day. I picked up before the call went to voicemail.

Mike's worried voice almost broke through my bubble and I struggled to open the car window to cool off. The early morning cool air helped a little with my troubled emotions.

"Why was your phone off for so long? I thought that something bad has happened to you."

"You don't have to worry about me Mike. I'm fine really. It's just that I had something to take care of."

"Of course, I must worry. I went to look for you at the diner and they told me that you took a night off and you weren't home either. Where Were you? I'll come to pick you up."

I had to hang up hurriedly before he heard my quivering voice. He knew me too well to see through me that something was off.

"You don't have to. I'm heading to the hospital now, almost there. I'm hanging up, we'll talk later."

"Okay. I'm heading there now as well."

After hanging up I put my phone back in my borrowed handbag and I was met with a stack of cash in the inside pocket.

Shit! Even the heavens were not on my side.

How can I shake the guilty off when I will be walking with the aftermath everywhere I go.

Mike has been my close friend since senior high and we started dating in our sophomore college year. He was a fun and reliable boyfriend I could ever ask for until my fathers life took a back turn. He did everything he could to cheer me up and he helped me financially a lot too because he got a job as soon as we graduated.

After paying the cab's driver I found my way up to the elevator to my dad's ward. I wanted to change the dress I had on last night. I didn't want anyone to see me and start guessing that I was somewhere to party with a sick dad. 

Especially Mike. 

I changed into a t- shirt, dark jeans and my worn-out sneakers and looked at my reflection . 'this is the real me' i thought to myself.

The nurse came in a few moments later to check on Dad and my heart couldn't stop breaking for him. He was connected to different machines I had no idea of what they helped with, and he had been asleep most of the time for the past month.