Seven Deadly Sins

Chapter Seventeen

Asmodeus' POV

"Stop blaming yourself"

He sighed, feeling fatigue settle on his body. He could not bear to visit the room Jules was in.

"I should have anticipated an attack. Instead I naively thought it would only happen at the venue. It was a stupid oversight on my part. Now...now Jules is as good as dead" he responded.

"Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare give up." his mother snapped, her voice breaking midway through. His mother loved all his mates. She took on the role of mother as she was the only mother of the group that still lived other than Jules' parents and they were practically non-existent. Asmodeus had very little hope left in him. The truth was that he had contemplated a solution and seeing as most of his mates' despised him, it was probably the best option.

"I could give my li-"

"The hell you will! You think that would help huh!? Bringing back one mate so they can lose the other?"

"Mother you and I both know my bond with the others has deteriorated over the years. They may be sad but it won't affect them the same way losing Jules will. That is true even for Holden and Aslan. It is true for Tao as well" he reasoned half-heartedly. Scenes of him chocking out Jules when Tao had just arrived plagued him. The last physical interaction he'd had with Jules was an attack on the man that he did not deserve.

"They love you Asmodeus. If they did not, then they would not care about what you do. If they did not, they would not have asked me to check on you. That does not mean they are not tired of the way you treat them, but the reality is that you are still their mate at the end of the day. Sacrificing yourself at this point, as selfless as you may think it is, will be a selfish decision. You make decisions about your collective future without them. You treat them like children you have to babysit. When was the last time you held one of your mates? Even now, when you are all hurting, you isolate yourself instead of comforting them and allowing them to comfort you."

He did not respond. He knew the truth. He really thought being as strict as he was would stop the sins from taking over and leading to their ultimate demise. He controlled Holden's food portions so that gluttony would not cause him to die of health complications like a majority of the holders of the sin, who had become morbidly obese. Idris' greed he managed in much the same way, controlling what he received, gifts, money, affection, pretty much anything the sin could latch on and feed from. He kept lust in check by monitoring Calix's intimate interactions... well up until recently. The last holder had gotten a disease, something the sin made easy for him to catch and mutated the disease so that when it spread, it could not be cured.

He managed sloth by forcing Jules to move about and do stuff every once in a while, afraid that if he slept too deeply, for too long, the sin would have put him in the position he was in now. With Fox, he stopped giving into his demands and jealousy. Envy was a sin that had been quickly souring the bond as no one could do anything without him being critical about it and whining for the same treatment, the same gift, the same attention, even when another one of their mates needed extra help. He kept Aslan in check because pride clashed so badly with envy, so he had kept Aslan away from his more sensitive mates and closer to him, the only person who could control him and handle his crude and mean nature.

"I tried. I had to be the villain so their sins would not destroy each other. The sins have never been mates and for a good reason. We are just not compatible. We ruin each other. I tried to keep us together as best I could. Maybe, I took it too far, but..." He trailed off, because if he really wanted to be honest, he had taken things too far. He had constantly hurt his mates and that was because Tao had been right. He controlled everyone else's sin except his own. In reality, he was the only one who actively used his sin against the others. He had justified it as tough love. He was protecting them and they simply did not see it. However, now? Now he was not so sure it had been the right thing to do.

"Son, at first I had agreed with the precautions you had taken simply because I was also worried about the sins running rampant. However, at some point, it exceeded what was necessary. Aslan maintained his pride by staying close to you. This hierarchy you built meant that keeping him close meant you approved of him and he was closer to you, the head of the family. That did less to quell the sin than you intended. Fox is the youngest of the seven of you. He never had any guidance and no validation of his emotions. This meant he grew up with that sin eating at his very soul. Showing him attention then completely withdrawing it from him had him labelled as a brat, for lack of a better term, when he responded to that withdrawal. What he needed was a boundary, a balance, not complete deprivation. 

Calix had always been flirtatious, even before the sin manifested. That part of his personality got him into so much trouble with you that he had to change. All six of you treated him like his sin was the only thing that defined him. The Calix I met when he first mated with you all, is not the same man I see today. Holden and Idris, like Fox were completely deprived of anything, they lacked balance as well. Jules received the brunt of the criticism from you. I understand that this is because you worried about him most but...it broke him and I saw it. Even if you meant well, you do owe your mates an apology. What happened to Jules now is not your fault but it's about time you open up to your mates. Tao cannot balance this bond all by himself."

Asmodeus sat heavily on one of the sofa's in the room. He ran a hand through his hair and rested his head in his hands. "Tao...is he...?

"A virtue? Yes. Well, he is The Virtue. It took me a while to sense it but he holds the mark on his soul"

"You can see it on him for sure?"

"Of course. I am a fae after all son."

Asmodeus sighed. He had stayed so long ignoring most of his emotions and now he was not ready for the wave of fear that hit him when Jules' heart had stopped. It was like the blinding rage that burned every other feeling had been doused by the ice cold realization that he could lose one of his mates. Those emotions returned with a vengeance. Fear, despair, guilt, the overwhelming sense of failure on his part. He had tried so hard. He needed to be in control of his emotions so he could make the hard decisions. Someone had to. However, perhaps his mother was right. Nothing stated that he had to carry that burden alone, and yet he had, voluntarily.

"I will try. I will try and make things right." His mother smiled at him and nodded in acknowledgement. 

"Speaking of making things right. I think your royal terror of an ex is to blame for all the attacks you've have endured so far, and the reason for what has happened to Jules. I have an informant in The Order who stated that the organization is divided and that woman has her claws in one half."

"Right. I suspected as much" he responded. He stood and a certain determination settled in his heart. "Mother will you help me bring this to an end and protect my mates?" he asked sincerely. His mother smirked, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She pulled a silver dagger from her hip, hidden under folds of her dress. "I have been waiting centuries to have that witch's head on a stick" she retorted as the two made their way back to the others. It was time to end this once and for all.