BALANCED LUCK

three

☘︎ clover ☘︎

OCTOBER

As I walked into the apartment, I felt a sense of familiarity wash over me. The place was small but cozy, with a lived-in feel. The walls were painted a soothing shade of blue, and there were photos and trinkets here and there that hinted at a personal touch.

As I took in the surroundings, a new wave of memories came rushing back to me. This was my apartment. I had lived here for the last few months before the accident.

I remembered.

It was as if a dam had broken, and a floodgate of recollections poured into my mind. I remembered decorating this very room, hanging those pictures on the wall, and even buying that cute little knick-knack on the shelf. The memories were still hazy, but they were there.

But as those memories rushed back, so did the memories of the last few years before the accident. I remembered the arguments with my mom, the fights that had left me broken and bruised. I remembered the constant feeling of being unwanted and unloved. It was all coming back to me now, and it was a painful realization.

For awhile, I just stood there, my head spinning as memories swirled around me like a whirlwind. It was a jumble of images, emotions, and feelings - a chaotic mix that left me feeling dazed and overwhelmed. I stumbled weakly over to the sofa and collapsed onto it, burying my face in my hands.

There was so much to process - so much pain and hurt that I had suppressed for so long. It was all coming back to me now, and I didn't know how to handle it. I just sat there, lost in my own thoughts, trying to make sense of everything that was rushing through my mind.

The memories were like a storm in my head. There were fights with my mom, whispered arguments, and the feeling of isolation. But there were also moments of joy - my high school graduation, my friendship with Atlas and Celeste. It was all a jumble of emotions, and I felt like I was drowning in the flood of memories that had been unlocked.

As I sat there on the sofa, overwhelmed by the barrage of memories, I suddenly remembered a feeling - a deep, burning love.

It was like a flicker of light in the darkness, a feeling that had been tucked away in the corners of my mind. I could feel it there, a strong and steady presence that had once consumed me. But the person it was directed at was like a shadow in my mind - faceless and elusive.

It was a strange and confusing sensation, to have such a strong emotion without knowing who it was directed towards. It left me feeling like a puzzle with a piece missing - incomplete and frustrated.

I was still sitting on the sofa when I heard a knock on the door. I looked up, my head still spinning with the onslaught of memories, when the door creaked open and I saw Celeste poke her head in.

She was wearing her signature smile, but when she saw my expression, her smile faltered slightly. "Hey," she said gently, walking into the room. "You okay, C?"

"I remember" I whisper.

Celeste's eyes widened in surprise, and she sat down beside me on the sofa. "What do you remember?" she asked, her voice soft and curious.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself against the wave of emotions that was still coursing through me. "I remember...I remember this apartment," I said, gesturing around the room. "I remember decorating it and buying things for it. And I remember... The accident, my mom.. And someone else."

Celeste's expression softened, and she reached out to take my hand. "You remember someone else?" she echoed, her voice gentle.

"Yes," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "I remember... I remember loving someone. I remember feeling that emotion so deeply, but I just...can't remember who it was that I loved."