BALANCED LUCK

eight

⨯ brennan ⨯

Today might be the worst day of my life.

I pulled out the pack of cigarettes, the familiar crackle of the plastic wrapping loud in the quiet of the moment. I carefully picked out a single cigarette, my fingers feeling its slightly rough and porous texture. Placing the cigarette between my lips, I flipped the lighter open and lit the end of the cigarette, the small flame sparking in the dark. 

As the end of the cigarette glowed a bright orange, I slowly took a drag, the smoke filling my mouth and lungs. I closed my eyes for a second, letting the sensation wash over me. 

The sight of Clover lying in the hospital bed flashed through my mind, her face as white as the sheets around her. It was a memory that had plagued me for years, the guilt and shame of it eating away at me from the inside. The cigarette was my only comfort, my only way to numb the pain and forget for a little while. I drew in another deep drag, the acrid smoke stinging my lungs.

I had tried to forget her, to push her out of my mind and move on with my life. But no matter how hard I tried, she kept coming back to me in the form of memories and dreams. The sight of her was burned into my brain. It was a constant reminder of the mistakes I had made and the damage I had caused. The cigarette still burning between my fingers, I let out a heavy sigh. I knew I needed to let her go, but I just couldn't seem to do it.

My mind was still consumed with thoughts of Clover when my phone suddenly rang, startling me out of my thoughts. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and saw the name "Dad" flashing on the screen.

My stomach twisted into a knot as I saw the caller ID. We had a meeting at the nightclub tonight, and my dad was checking to make sure I was still coming.

I wasn't nervous about the meeting itself; I knew what my father expected of me, and I had been preparing for it for years. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something big was about to happen, and the thought of it both excited and terrified me.

My dad's voice was sharp and authoritative as he spoke. "You're still meeting me at the Lucky Flower tonight, right?" he asked, his tone brooking no room for disagreement.

I felt a flash of irritation at my father's authoritative tone, but I tried to keep my emotions in check. "Yeah, I'll be there," I said, my voice flat and unemotional.

My dad grunted with satisfaction on the other end of the line. "Good. Don't be late," he said before hanging up abruptly

I let out a sigh as I put the phone back in my pocket. It was always the same with my father - he was demanding and controlling, and he expected me to fall in line without question. It was exhausting, being constantly under his thumb even though I'm the owner of the family company.

I knew that tonight's meeting was important, and I couldn't afford to be late or mess up. But the thought of being alone with my father, with no one else to buffer the tension between us, made me uneasy.

I took a deep drag of my cigarette, trying to steady my nerves. I needed to be calm and focused for this meeting, but I could already feel my mind starting to race with worry and doubt.

I stubbed out the cigarette on the side of the building, leaving a black streak of ash on the brick wall. Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the heavy door of the Lucky Flower and walked into the familiar surroundings of the club.

The sound of music and chatter filled my ears as I made my way through the crowded main room of the club. I nodded curtly at a few of the staff members as I passed, making my way towards my office.