𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

Chapter 5

TAYLORS POV

Don't get me wrong—I love touring, I really do, but there's this feeling I can't get rid of. It's like something's missing, this emptiness that's always been there, as far back as I can remember. For the longest time, I thought Joe was the answer, the missing piece. I thought he was my safe place, my rock, my soulmate. But people say nothing lasts forever, and I'm starting to see the truth in that. I long for that all-consuming, lifelong love. But does it even exist? Maybe, Blake and Ryan have it, but most couples don't. I know I've never truly had it, even though it might have seemed like I did.

Joe and I were together for six years. I honestly thought we were endgame. We even have a child together, Theodore. But I was wrong. Everything came crashing down when Joe admitted to cheating on me with one of his co-stars. In hindsight, the cracks had been showing for a while. He was never willing to meet me halfway. My friends kept warning me about the toxicity in our relationship, but I was too blinded by my love for him and our little family. He kept us hidden so well that the world doesn't even know Theo exists. It was a relationship where there was no room for me to be myself, or for Theo to truly live his life. When we split up, we agreed on shared custody, but just under a year ago Joe fell off the wagon, started drinking, got quite aggressive and started destroying public property. The Judge ruled him an unfit parent and gave me sole custody.

Still, despite everything Joe put me through, I'm thankful for him, because without him, I wouldn't have Theo. Theo is my entire world. The day he was born was like discovering a whole new colour in the rainbow, one I'd never seen before, and it was the most beautiful of all. I would die for him. I know that because in a way, I already have. My old life, my old self—they're gone. My needs don't matter anymore, and it's all worth it, just for him.

I sit in front of my vanity, the lights around the mirror casting a warm, soft glow on my face as I finish the last touches of lipstick. I can hear soft hums of voices outside, filtering through the walls of my dressing room. My heart flutters with a mix of nerves and excitement, the same feeling I get before every performance, no matter how many times I've done this. I glance over at Theo who's sitting on the couch with my iPad in his hands, completely engaged in a YouTube video. His little legs are swinging back and forth, not quite reaching the floor yet. Every so often, I catch faint sounds of voices from his cartoons, and the good ones, the classics like; CatDog, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, Wonder Pets, And it makes me smile. It's surreal sometimes — here I am, getting ready to step on stage for the biggest tour of my life, and here he is, my little boy, totally oblivious to the chaos around him. He's my grounding force in all of this. When the world feels too big or too loud, I can look at him and everything narrows down to what's most important.

My team was bustling around me, adjusting my hair, and checking to make sure everything on my costume was perfect. I keep sneaking glimpses at Theo, wondering what he's laughing at, how he's so content in this tiny world of his, while I'm about to face tens of thousands of people. There's a sense of calm in the way he sits there, in his own little world, that gives me peace. I breathe in, steadying myself.

"Alright Taylor, five minutes. You better start making your way to the platform" Tree says walking towards me

I nod, taking one last look in the mirror. I feel ready—ready for the crowd, the music, the energy. But more than that, I feel grounded, knowing that just a few feet away, backstage, my son is watching, completely unaware that his mom is about to step into a whirlwind of lights and sound.

As I make my way down the long corridor, the light rumble of the crowds cheering growing louder as I reach the end, I can feel the energy building inside of me. Each step closer to the platform brings a new wave of adrenaline like the electricity in the air is sinking into my skin.