Skyler leaned against the window of his apartment, watching the rain fall in steady streams. His mind was a whirlwind of memories, tangled with emotions he had tried to keep buried for so long. He had never planned for things to go this way, never imagined that he would hurt Ocean so deeply. But if he was being honest with himself, this wasn't where his feelings for Ocean began. Not by a long shot.
It had all started years ago. Back in high school.
Skyler had been a different person back then. Still the center of attention, still the golden boy everyone admired, but inside, he had been searching for something more—something real, something that went beyond the surface-level connections he had with people. And then, one day, he saw him.
Ocean.
He hadn't known his name at the time. He had just been a quiet boy in the corner of the hallway, walking alongside another boy, someone talkative and full of life. Skyler remembered seeing the two of them together almost every day—Ocean, with his guarded expression and quiet demeanor, and Jamie, who never seemed to stop talking, his laughter echoing down the hallways.
Skyler had watched them from a distance, curious but never daring to approach. There was something about Ocean that had caught his attention from the very first moment. It wasn't like the attraction he had felt for others—it was deeper, more inexplicable. Ocean's silence, his aloofness, the way he seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, it had drawn Skyler in.
Even though Skyler was surrounded by people, always in the spotlight, always being watched, the only person he found himself watching was Ocean.
Every day, Skyler would see them—Ocean and Jamie, walking together, talking quietly, sharing moments of friendship that seemed both comforting and bittersweet. Skyler didn't know why, but he found himself drawn to Ocean in a way that confused him at first. Ocean wasn't like the others—he didn't seek attention, didn't try to fit in with the crowd. He was always distant, always reserved, like there was a part of him that didn't belong in the world around him.
And that was what fascinated Skyler the most.
He wanted to know more about him. He wanted to understand the quiet boy who never spoke much, who never laughed like the others, who always seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. There was a sadness in Ocean's eyes, even back then, and Skyler had felt an overwhelming urge to reach out, to be the one who could ease that pain, even if just a little.
But he had never dared.
Skyler had watched from afar, too afraid to approach, too unsure of what to say. He had been popular, well-liked, but when it came to Ocean, he had felt... inadequate. Like he wasn't enough to break through the walls that surrounded him. So, he stayed in the background, watching from a distance, admiring Ocean in silence, never letting him know how much he cared.
Days turned into weeks, and Skyler found himself watching Ocean more and more. He wasn't sure why at first. Maybe it was because Ocean was so different from everyone else—so distant, so guarded. He didn't laugh as much as the others, didn't seek attention, didn't try to fit in. There was a kind of quiet strength in him, but there was also something else—something that seemed almost like pain, hidden beneath the surface.
And then one day, Skyler noticed a change.
Jamie was no longer at Ocean's side.
For months, the two boys had been inseparable—Jamie's lively presence a contrast to Ocean's quiet demeanor. But then, suddenly, Jamie was gone. Skyler didn't know what had happened, but the absence of Jamie's voice, his laughter, left a void. Ocean seemed even more withdrawn, more closed-off than before. There was a sadness in his eyes that hadn't been there before, a kind of hurt that made Skyler's heart clench.
Skyler had wanted to approach him, to ask if he was okay, but something had always held him back. He didn't know why. Maybe it was the way Ocean carried himself—like he didn't want anyone to see the cracks in his armor. Maybe it was the fear of rejection, the fear that Ocean would push him away.
But no matter what, Skyler couldn't stop watching him.
It wasn't just curiosity anymore. It was something deeper—something that grew with each passing day. Skyler had fallen for Ocean before he even realized it himself. He had fallen for the quiet boy who sat alone at lunch, the boy who rarely spoke but always seemed to have a thousand unspoken words behind his eyes.
Skyler had loved him from the moment his eyes first landed on him.
And yet, he had kept his distance. He hadn't dared to approach Ocean in high school, afraid that he would only make things worse. Ocean had been so closed off, so careful about letting anyone in. Skyler had respected that, even if it hurt to stay away. He had admired Ocean's strength, his quiet resilience, from afar. But as time went on, the distance between them became unbearable.
By the time graduation came, Skyler had made up his mind. He had decided to attend the same university as Ocean, to study the same major, to take the same classes. It wasn't a coincidence. Skyler had planned it. He wanted to be near Ocean, to understand him better, to see if there was ever a chance that they could be more than strangers.
When Skyler had found himself in the same lecture halls as Ocean, sitting just a few rows apart, his heart had raced. Finally, after years of watching from a distance, they were in the same space, sharing the same moments. And yet, even then, Skyler had kept his feelings hidden. He didn't want to rush things. He didn't want to scare Ocean away.
He had been patient—so, so patient.
As the weeks at university went by, Skyler had slowly started to break through Ocean's walls. Little by little, Ocean had opened up to him, just enough for Skyler to glimpse the person behind the guarded exterior. They had shared quiet moments in the library, late-night study sessions in the art room. And for a while, Skyler had believed that maybe, just maybe, Ocean was starting to feel the same way.
But Skyler had always known that Ocean carried a lot of pain with him. The walls around him were high for a reason. Ocean had been hurt before—Skyler could see it in the way he flinched at vulnerability, the way he pulled back just when they were getting close.
Still, Skyler had stayed. He hadn't pushed. He had been willing to wait for Ocean to come to him on his own terms, in his own time.
But no matter what, Skyler knew one thing for certain: he wasn't giving up. He had loved Ocean for years, long before they had even spoken, and he wasn't about to let that love slip away now.
Ocean would never know how much Skyler adored him, how much he had watched him from afar, wanting nothing more than to be close to him. Skyler's patience, his understanding, his willingness to wait—it had all been because of his love for Ocean.
He would make things right. He had to.
Skyler had waited for years. He had loved Ocean silently, from a distance, for so long. And now, even though everything had fallen apart, he wasn't going to let that love go.
I'll fix this, Skyler thought, his determination hardening. No matter what, I'll make things right.
Because no matter how long it took, no matter how hard it was, Skyler was willing to wait. He had loved Ocean for too long to give up now.
TBC. 🩵
