The resque of a wounded melody [Kanamafu]pjsk

Chapter 6: You don't deserve it

Mafuyuu's pov:

During breakfast I had a bad feeling in my gut, and the worst part is that it was bothering me for the rest of the moment and I couldn't tell what it was or why it was bothering me.

My dad just seemed to be upset about something, I was about to speak till my mom gave me a piercing glare like she was saying "don't you dare to say anything or else...".

That silenced me immediately, it was terrifying, even terrifying than the beating I was about to risk yesterday.

As I walked to school, I got either mocking, sad or confused stares, all those stares were making me feel overwhelmed, I wish I could just disappear in a black hole and forget about everyone around me.

There were people even shouting insults like "you look so emo" or "attention seeker"

None of them knew how it is like to have a mother, A MOTHER, a person that's supposed to love you and support you but is instead someone who forces her expectations and dreams on her daughter in the harshest (otherwise abusive) ways.

🔴Self harm [FEEL FREE TO SKIP]

I literally cried my eyes out in the school bathroom stall during break time, I even hid a small blade and a nail in my pocket, only to pull them out and harm myself.

I couldn't do it at some since my mother would just take it away from me, she should but she would just say I'm crazy or that I'm trying to attire attention, but I wasn't.

I was even ashamed of my scars, I saw them as really disgusting impurities, an half were self inflicted, the other half was from my mother.

I let out a shaky sigh, I didn't even try to hold back the tears that were currently in my red eyes.

I used the nail first I scratched my arm for 3 times, leaving 3 fresh bleeding vertical scratches, I then pressed the nail in my wrist, and painfully taking it out while trying to not make any noises, by biting on the right sleeve of my shirt.

It left a really big bleeding hole, gladly I had bandages and quicky patched the hole.

🔴feel free to skip

I then picked up the small blade and immediately slashed in horizontal, one time considering I was a bleeding mess.

And after that I patched the wounds up.

And then a knock on the door, which startled me but I recognized the voice.

"Is anyone here?"

"Kanade?"

I put everything in my pocket and exited the stall.

Kanade was looking at me with a shocked look on her face, mixed with a bit of worry.

Her eyes suddenly fell on the bandages on my left arm.

"Mafuyuu, are you alright?"

I nodded quickly but my red swollen eyes betrayed my response

"Mafuyuu, it's ok you can be honest"

I couldn't help but trust Kanade, I then took off the bandages (including the recet ones) and let her look at my scars, it took her a second to find out which ones were recent and which ones were old.

"A-are you m-mad at me?"

I stuttered, just letting myself sob, till I broke down and couldn't hold it anymore.

"Please Kanade you have to understand, I can't control it"

She pulled me into an hug.

"Shhh I'm not mad at you Mafu-chan, I would never be"

"May I ask you something?"

Kanade pulled away and started asking.

"Is everything alright at home?"

And I froze, I shook my head quickly.

"I-I"

And then I let it all out, whatever was bottled up was now out of my chest.

"My mom is abusive, she would force her dreams on me and would phisycally and psychologically hurt me if I don't align"

Kanade's eyes widened, tears spurting out of her eyes, and her gasp was so loud it reverbered in the whole bathroom.

"Kanade? Are you alright?

She pulled me in a tight hug and started crying, I cried too, we cried, she gave me soft kisses on the cheek. Before stroking my purple hair.

" Mafuyuu, I just can't explain how much it hurted to hear it, I'm so so so sorry, I don't get how you get to deserve this when you clearly don't"

Those words were just so kind and positive to be honest.

I spent the whole break time crying and venting to Kanade, it was making me feel loved, not even my own mother would provide this heavy comfort for me, but I'm glad that my girlfriend did, or maybe my soon to be girlfriend.