The Grey in Between

Nick

"Alright kid, here we are," my dad says, pulling into the circular drive of my new school. My new boarding school.

"Honey, are you going to be okay? We can just send you to a school cl-"

"I'm going to be fine here," I reassure my mom, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Evie, you and I both read everything we could about this school, this school is the best when it comes to um, homosexuality and bullying. It says it's one of the best places for boys to go if they are having trouble." Dad says, placing another reassuring hand on my moms thigh.

My mom looks at both of us. still doubting if sending me to a re form school is the best decision after last year.

"And who knows mom, maybe I'll meet the boy of my dreams?" I joke, nudging her as we get out the car. My mom smiles. My dad frowns.

"Look, Nick, I love you and who you are will not change that but the, the liking boys thing, it needs time to settle ," my dad grumbles, embarrassed and upset. I instantly fill with shame. My mom gives me a small pity smile. I grab my bags from her and start walking, even though they make sure I'm far away, I can still hear them yelling as I open the main door to the school.

I came out to my parents when I was thirteen, nearly two years ago this fall. I didn't come out to everyone else until last year, eighth grade. And then I got sick and went to the hospital. But, I still remember my mom and dads reaction. The anger from my dad, followed by the slamming of doors, and my moms misty eyes as she hugged me, saying nothing will change the fact that I'm still her baby. I still remember the yelling that night, the bang, or my moms puffy eyes as well as a black eye. I never forgave myself for that. If I had waited, if I continued pretending, maybe then he wouldn't have hit her, maybe I wouldn't have gotten sick and gone to the hospital, maybe I wouldn't be here now. I feel a delicate hand placed on my shoulder followed by a much sturdier, heavy hand on the other.

"Alright kid, let's go find your dorm," my mom huffs.