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it's been a month since I broke up with reece, his tour has been in the US. he comes to New York tonight and is here for a week.

i've been writing songs,, i've been hibernating since i got home, i haven't talked to millie or my mom or niall since i got home, they don't even know me and reece broke up. i haven't even shown up to the studio recordings. i haven't been eating well or sleeping well.

i've only checked reeces instagram once and he took down all the pictures on his account. every picture of him was taken down.

don't smile because it happened, baby  cry because it's over.

i deactivated my main account again. i scrapped the album and started from scratch. i only kept so american.

i was packing everything of reeces in a box for when he comes back from tour

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i was packing everything of reeces in a box for when he comes back from tour. bailee and sarah have constantly texted me asking me where i am and i never told them we broke up, they probably figured. i put all of his clothes in boxes, i kept a sweater that i always liked. it smelt like him.

i found the receipt of the engagement ring, it was in december 5 days before christmas. i heard my doorbell ring.

i opened it. it was reece, i was stuck glued to the floor. i didn't know what to do. he stood there too

"what are you doing here?" i bit the inside of my cheek

"wanted to see you and talk to you" he put his hands in his pockets

"about what? there is nothing to talk about" i closed my door and stood in the hallway with him

"about the last time we saw each other, bells we didn't want to end it, you didn't want to hear me out" he said

"reece you just stood there and watched me leave, you stood there and only said three words. bailey and come back. never once did you text me or call me. i waited next to my phone for days after to see if you'd call or text me and tell me anything besides bailey come back but you didn't. gosh i hate you, i hate you" i crossed my arms as tears went down my face

"bells you don't mean that. i'm sorry for lying i'm sorry for lying to you about hailey. i don't know what i was thinking" he said

"you don't know what you were thinking? reece you're 27 and you don't know what you were thinking. SPARE ME. reece, we were going to get married. i was finally going to get my happy ending. we were finally going to get our happy ending. reece you lied to me constantly for months. ever since tour you've been seeing hailey. you told me you were done with her. you lied to me in your dressing room. i saw hailey when she left, she had a hickey, reece you were sleeping with her" i opened my door again

"bailey. you can't say shit like this when you were fucking your ex boyfriend too." he walked into my apartment

"i did it once and the guilt was eating me alive. i couldn't sleep i couldn't eat because i realized how stupid i was how much i was hurting you, but you were too busy fucking hailey too. the guilt was eating me alive." i tried not to raise my voice

he rolled his eyes

"i thought you were better than this. i thought we were better than this. we never fought we never went to bed angry. we were happy. ok maybe we did fight but we never did like this. reece i loved you and i still do. you're the love of my life truly but you've hurt me deeply. it's over between us. i don't want to hear from you anymore. i don't want to talk to you anymore. i'll announce that we broke up and i just um you need to go" i said as my voice cracked

"you didn't even let me speak" he put his hands in his pockets again

"go" i opened the door

he walked out. i closed my door and just cried.

millie 🤍 : heyyyy what happened ?? i saw ur instagram what happened ?

millie 🤍 : i'm on my way there

i saw millie's text. i didn't answer it. i blocked reece from my instagram.

millie came in

"what happened? are you okay ?" she came running to me on the couch

"me and reece broke up" i cried

she hugged me and she let me just cry

"oh my god. bells what happened." she said as she hugged me

"i i i caught him with his ex, we made up that night and then i posted that we got engaged and his phone was blowing up with messages from his ex and she was like you're engaged? did last week and last night mean anything to you? when are you leaving her? he he was lying to me." i wiped my tears

"oh my god that bitch. he's so fucked. i'm sorry" she said

"i can't believe it but i can't even be mad because i slept with bradley one night" i broke the hug

"you have every right to be mad" she said as she wiped my tears

"im so so disappointed. we were supposed to get married, we were going to settle down. we were so so close" i buried my head into a pillow.

millie stayed with me for the night. i couldn't stop thinking about reece

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