Where To Next? (girlxgirl)

chapter iii.

The whole night felt like a fever dream.

I got home early in the morning, Mike dropped me back. George had gone back home and so I fell asleep on the couch.

It stuck with me, what we talked about. They all just up and left their lives. Could I do that? I fell back to sleep.

----------

I woke up to knocking on the door, I looked through the peephole.

"Hey Andi! Funny thing about these peepholes, you can see both ways!" I groaned.

"One sec, Dave, I'll be right out." I walked into my room and reached for a duffel bag in my cupboard, grabbing out a wad of cash and zipping it back up. Dave was my landlord. An older greasy Italian man. I didn't trust him.

I opened the door slightly, leaving the latch on and passed the money through the gap. 

"Thanks Andi, always on time. Have you heard from your neighbours? I think they're avoiding me." I watched the blinds move slightly behind him, wondering if it was Tom or George spying. "Uhh.. no, not for days." I lie. 

He shrugs and leaves my doorstep. "See ya next month, Andi!" I say nothing looking up at George's window, making eye contact with someone through the slit in the curtains.

I close my door over and head back to the couch, assuming the position and drifting back to sleep.

-----------

It was happening again. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to move. The memories flooded back. I hold my head into the couch and hum to block the noise. I couldn't tell if it was night or day. 

I started sweating and the tears came hard and fast. 

I try to force myself to fall back to sleep but it doesn't come.

The voices are louder than usual and I gave in.

"What the fuck did you do?" a voice yells,

"Put your hands up!"

I look down at Josie in my arms.

"I SAID OUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP OR I'LL SHOOT"

"I didn't... This wasn't..."

A loud bang rang in my ears, I fell on top of Josie and we collapsed onto the floor.

I lost track of whose blood was whose, I passed out.

-----------

Sunday morning, I've done a good job at ignoring my calls and texts. I haven't left my house in days. I looked over at my bedside table and swallowed my pills with a glass of water. What's the point?

I pulled myself out of bed, I was aware of my cycles now. It was seasonal at this point, I hit late October and I just felt like ... this. 

I tried to journal. I wrote about Josie. I wrote about meeting Neil, Elle and Mike. I wondered if I would see them again. Should I message?

I spent the day wandering around my place aimlessly. I checked my phone.

Jackson:
Where the fuck are you?
4hrs ago

Macey:
Jared's pissed at me. Drinks later?
12hrs ago

Not Neil:
Hi.
16hrs ago