let me love you

Chapter 1

My day begins with the usual self-reproach, wondering why I am still alive. As always, I didn't need an alarm to wake me. The cool August winds wafting through the window made my bed feel warm and cozy, and I didn't want to get up. While debating whether to rise or not, my thoughts turned to my late husband who left me with our two kids. As I finally got out of bed, I heard the toilet flush. My son, Nicholas, emerged from the bathroom and hugged me.

"Good morning, Dad," he said. I hugged him back and replied, "Good morning."

"Why are you up so early?" I asked him.

"School has started, and I thought maybe you need some help preparing lunch for us," he replied.

Oh, my sweet child, just like his father, I thought. "Oh, baby, I can do it on my own. Please sleep a bit longer," I told him and sent him back to bed. As I watched him walk away, I thought about how helpful he is. I have two kids: 10-year-old Nicholas and 5-year-old Celeste.

I run a small coffee shop that has become quite popular in the heart of London. After my husband Oscar passed away, my friends Alex and George helped me tremendously in setting up this coffee shop and building a life for my kids and me here in London.

Every day, my morning ritual begins with waking up and preparing lunch and breakfast for my kids. George picks them up and drops them off at school in the morning, and in the evening, Alex picks them up and brings them home. Meanwhile, I make pastries, manage the counter, and take orders at the coffee shop and also Alex helps me daily. 

As usual, after George dropped Alex off at my coffee shop, he began pestering me about dating someone again. At first, I didn't say anything, but his persistence has been growing day by day, and it's becoming insufferable. Yes, Oscar died four years ago when Celeste was one. I experienced so much with Oscar in one lifetime that I can't even imagine being with anyone else.

"Alex, I had one great love story in my lifetime, and I don't think I will ever love anyone like I loved Oscar. So please, stop pestering me and leave me alone. Go write something, writer," I said to Alex, who had graduated in English literature and had been trying to write something for the past ten years. He pouted at my reply and stood behind me with his arms folded. I was preparing blueberry pastries when my phone rang. It was Nick's school. My heart dropped, and my mind froze—why would his school be calling me in the middle of the day? With a pang in my heart, I answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mr. Norris, I’m Nicholas's class teacher."

"Yes?"

"Nicholas fought with a kid and beat him until he bled. He’s not answering us when we ask him about it."

I gasped. My sweet Nicholas, who wakes up early to help me, beat a kid until he bled? What could have happened?

"Mr. Norris, could you please come to the school now? I have also called the other kid's guardian, and he is on his way."

"Yes, of course."

I hung up, my heart racing. "What happened?" Alex asked.

"Nicholas fought with a kid and beat him until he bled," I replied.

"What?" Alex was shocked.

"I need to go to the school. Please take care of the shop," I said to Alex, rushing towards my car.

Am I a bad parent? Is this my fault? Have I neglected my kids so much that they’ve turned into bullies? Oh my God, I’m such a failure, I thought, crying as I drove to Nick's school.

As I entered the principal's office, I noticed a man sitting across from the principal. Nicholas and the other child, who had a bandage on his forehead, sat quietly on a small bench against the wall. When Nicholas caught sight of me, he lowered his head and avoided looking at my face. The principal acknowledged my arrival, stood up, and extended his hand to greet me. I glanced at the man sitting in front of the principal; he must have been the other child's father. The principal gestured for me to take a seat.

"Meet Carlos Sainz, he is Roberto's uncle" the principal introduced us, and Carlos and I shook hands.

"I know Nicholas is a very good kid, but I don't understand why he fought with Roberto. When asked, he remains silent and won't tell us what happened between them. Regardless of the reason, fighting is not allowed in this school," the principal stated.

"I am so sorry for Nicholas's behavior," I apologized and called Nicholas to come stand beside me.

"Nick, it’s wrong to fight with your classmates. Apologize right away to Roberto and to his uncle."

"I am sorry," Nick apologized, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Why did you beat him in the first place?" the principal asked.

Nick raised his head, looked at me with his tear-streaked eyes, and said, "Roberto said my daddy never loved my father and us," then he started crying.

I gasped at what Nicholas said.

"Why did you say that to him?" Carlos yelled at Roberto.

Roberto started crying too. "I saw on TV that his father, Oscar Paistri, never stayed with his kids or family. He always went to races and won so many."

"You shouldn't have said that, Roberto. Apologize to Nicholas and his dad," Carlos instructed.

"I am sorry, Nicholas and Mr. Norris. I shouldn’t have said that. I am so sorry," Roberto said.

I gave a sad smile to Roberto and Carlos.

"Roberto should face some repercussions for this," the principal insisted.

"Children make mistakes. Please let it go, principal," I said, then paid my respects and left the office.

As we left the office, I stood in front of Nicholas and wiped his tears. "Your daddy loved you so much, Nicky. I know he only stayed with us a little bit, but he loved us a lot. He always bought you something whenever he went to his races, right? He loved you a lot." 

"Now go to class, and Uncle Alex will pick you up in the evening," I said to Nick, and he nodded.

As I was reaching my car, I heard Carlos yell my name from afar.

"Mr. Norris!"

I turned towards him and waited until he came near me.

"I am so sorry for what happened," he said.

I gave him a sad smile and replied, "It's fine."

"I'm Carlos Sainz. Nice to meet you," he said, extending his hand again.

"Lando Norris, nice to meet you too," I said, shaking his hand once more.