Empty Canvas

13 - The weight your heart carries!

Disclaimer - Sometimes people look fine from the outside but it takes one horrible incident to bring their vulnerable side out. The whole chapter is dedicated to Win. The whole fic you have seen how Win is the strongest and never cried for any of his miseries.

However, humanly it's not possible, so, this chapter shows that side of Win, you'll see how he has been bundled up everything inside and he is broken too. You'll see how not just Bright is the one who needs Win, but Win is also the needy and vulnerable one. So, this chapter might turn out too angsty or heavy for some people.

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Sometimes you'll be surprised to know how much your heart can actually make room for little things. No matter whether the memories are beautiful or gut-wrenching in a way to squeeze your heart suffocating to death. Like every time you feel your heart is full, but surprisingly like a habit or any ritual it keeps making space for every memory. Like the first time, you cried, no matter if it was happy tears or sad tears, the first hug, the last time someone touched your head lovingly spreading warmth. The last time someone bought you flowers, sometimes it remembers too much making you overwhelmed by those feelings. 

Sometimes you feel the need to cage a specific moment, just to keep it in the present because, in the blink of an eye it becomes past. And you don't know when will be the next time you'll live that favorite moment of yours again. We wonder, is it too much to ask? Just to live in that moment and never let it go? Maybe it is, because no matter how boon it looks to us, this ability of our heart to remember everything is also a curse. We can't keep everything in our memory and then expect to live a happy life.

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"Teerak," said Bright slowly moving towards his boyfriend who was looking at him coldly.

"Don't look at me like that, you are scaring me," said Bright and slowly walked towards Win with heavy steps.

"You know I..." Bright trails his words blinking his eyes making the tears fall on his strained cheeks again and trying to form his next words.

"I was always scared of attachments, they scare me, be it friendship or love, or anything," Bright walked and slowly sat near Win trying to read his face and hated the moment because he couldn't read anything.

"I'm not attached easily, so I always kept my boundaries. But then some people still made their way, like Jason. And I try to give it all in that friendship, and then you came, my love."

Win was just watching his lover trying to make sense of his words. "And I don't know how to keep those boundaries with the people I love, please don't shut me out teerak, I won't be able to take it,"

Win pulls his legs which were straight on the bed. He sits cross-legged and looks down biting his lips. "Dad said I should just lay my cards down on the table and then wait for your next move," said Win fidgeting with the edge of his shirt. He sighs a little as if giving up and pulls his shirt over his head leaving himself naked. "I didn't want you to see me like this,"

Bright watched Win's body covered in red marks and his jaw tightened in anger realising again that he was late and couldn't get Win out of there in time. But then Bright realizes the purpose of Win showing him those marks. He looks up and finds Win already looking at him as if waiting for his reaction. He sighs internally calming himself before he reaches and caresses his fingers on his body.

He closes the distance between them and takes Win in his arms slowly not to startle him or scare him. "They will go away, and before you ask, yes, they bother me, they bother me because I couldn't get you out of there on time, they bother me because I couldn't stop this from happening. But they don't bother for any other reason, teerak, they will never bother me for any other reason," said Bright punctuating every word in Win's ear while caressing his bare back.