𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬

Sixteen

I stare at my ceiling. I feel like I'm right back in my bedroom after my dad punched me. A part of me wants to go back to that night.

Maybe I'd act optimistic instead. Maybe I wouldn't be here. Maybe me and Zelaya would still be friends. Maybe I'd be happy.

Coming to France sounded fun and great when the idea was first presented—now all I want is to go back home.

I turn over in my bed, tears slowly falling on my pillow—tears I didn't even realize had formed.

I'm only 15. I'm just a kid and this is happening to me. I don't like these people, I don't want these people. I don't want this town.

A soft knock echoes on my door. "Amie? Honey, are you in there?"

For a second, I close my eyes and pretend it's my mom saying that.

I hear the door creak open and someone exhaling. I open my eyes, dreams quickly shattered as I realize it's just Liana.

"Hi," I offer as she sits on the edge of my bed.

She smiles at me. "I know this is hard for you. Not everyone wants to go to a big fancy boarding school with big expectations and people who are—more or less—a little theatrical."

She reaches into her jacket pocket and gives me a journal that looks used, but when I flip through the pages they're completely empty besides numbered pages.

"Try and use this," she purses her lips. "It helped me freshman year. Obviously you aren't a freshman anymore, but you're just starting here so it might feel like it."

I stare at the journal while I feel her study my face.

"I'll leave you to that," she pats my knee as if she's a mother taking care of her sick bed-ridden child.

She gets up and heads to my door. Before leaving she adds, "I'm always here if you want to talk. I won't tell Madeline about anything. I know she can seem like a bully but you guys are actually really alike. I can tell."

She shuts the door and I'm left alone with my thoughts.