We are not going back

Chapter six

That evening, we were all gathered around the dinner table, Olivia’s family buzzing with excitement as they discussed plans for the upcoming weekend. Apparently, they wanted to go to a cabin in the mountains for a few days—get away from politics, from the city. It sounded like the perfect opportunity for them to spend some time together.

For me, though, my mind was far away, drifting somewhere it shouldn’t have been. I sat there, smiling, but not really paying attention to the conversation. Every time Olivia or her mother spoke, all I could think about was Kamala. The way she had spoken to me earlier, her understanding, her reassurance... it kept replaying in my mind. And the way she’d told me I had a beautiful wife—why did that stick with me so much?

I caught myself smiling, but not at the conversation. It was... a different kind of smile, one I quickly wiped away when I realized how odd it must have looked. No one seemed to notice, though Olivia’s brother, Oliver, gave me a strange glance from across the table.

Olivia was talking about the cabin, something about hiking trails and bonfires, but I couldn’t focus. My thoughts wandered back to Kamala. Her kindness. Her confidence. There was something so magnetic about her, and lately, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About her.

"Eleonora, what do you think?" Olivia asked, pulling me back to the present.

"Hmm?" I blinked, trying to play it off. "Oh, the cabin sounds great." I forced a smile, trying to seem like I was engaged in the conversation.

Olivia smiled back, but I could tell she was already back to talking about the weekend plans with her family. I nodded along, but inside, I was thinking about Kamala again. What was happening to me? Why couldn’t I stop?

As the dinner carried on, I found myself zoning out more and more, imagining Kamala’s voice, her laugh, the way she’d looked at me when she said I didn’t owe anyone an explanation. That look of understanding had stayed with me, and now, it was like it had taken root in my mind, growing with every passing moment.

I knew I had to get it together. This wasn’t normal. Kamala was my boss, and I was married to Olivia. But... the more I tried to push those thoughts away, the more they crept back in, until I found myself smiling that strange, distant smile again.

"Eleonora, are you okay?" Oliver asked quietly, snapping me out of my thoughts once more.

I quickly nodded, straightening up. "Yeah, sorry, just tired."

He nodded, but I could see the curiosity in his eyes. Thankfully, no one else seemed to notice. But as the dinner conversation continued, I couldn’t help but feel a strange pull toward thoughts I shouldn’t be having. Thoughts of Kamala, even as I sat there with my wife’s family, discussing our upcoming trip.

And for some reason, that thought—the very wrongness of it—made me smile even more.

***

Later that evening, Olivia and I found ourselves in the bathroom, the soft glow of candlelight reflecting off the tiled walls. We’d both had a long day, and the idea of unwinding in a warm bath together was more than welcome. The tub was filled with steaming water, scented with lavender oils, and Olivia had already sunk into it, her eyes closed as she leaned back against the edge.

I slipped in next to her, the hot water immediately relaxing my tense muscles. For a moment, we were both quiet, just enjoying the warmth and stillness. But I could tell Olivia had something on her mind. It didn’t take long for her to bring it up.