Us [18+]

Chapter 17

IRIS'S POV 🎀

Devastation is an understatement compared to what I'm feeling right now. Maddie's big fight is on Wednesday and she's basically been living at the gym. There's always a medic at the gym now, too.

I know because Kayden tells me. If I thought she was avoiding me before, then nothing would have prepared me for what she's doing now. Now, she's just resigned. She doesn't look at me for more than two seconds -which is part of the reason I stopped frequenting the gym- and stays out of the house whenever Mitchell is here.

If she doesn't anticipate it, she'll just go to the pool or leave the house altogether. I don't know where she goes because Maddie doesn't have friends outside our family. She said it's we're enough and not that she doesn't do well with new people.

Luca was different, however. He broke through all our defenses and I think a huge part of that is because we just want to see Kayden happy. She's kind of taken him under wing and that was surprising.

Luca and Maddie can't be anymore different. The only thing they have in common is their love for the color black. But even Maddie doesn't like black as much as Luca does. If black was a type of air, then that's what Luca breathes. As opposed to Kayden whose all rainbows and sunshine.

Their aesthetics say nothing about their personalities, however. Where Maddie is assertive, Luca is shy -almost timid- and Maddie is not patient enough to let people come out of their shells.

I'm glad he found a friend in us. Maddie's whereabouts however, is still a mystery. She's not reckless so I know she's not getting in trouble. She might have found a new hobby and is just cooling off and I'm worried for nothing.

That doesn't ease the ache in my heart. My movements have been sluggish since we had pancakes on Monday. She looked tired, just as she said, and knowing I caused the light in her eyes to dim is eating me alive. Kickboxing, her forever favorite thing, doesn't even excite her anymore.

Mitchell has been patient with me and I'm grateful for that. Not a lot of people would react well to their partner being hung up on someone else. According to him, "I've not spent alot of time with Maddie but I'd be sad too if I lost her."

I refused to acknowledge the last part. I've not lost Maddie. She's a fighter, in every sense of the word. If she's ever felt anything for me, then my efforts would pay off. I'm no quitter either.

I've been slipping notes under her door every night, I replaced her chess pieces and even bought tickets to see a movie she loves. I saw her staring at the ticket before she grabbed her keys and went to the gym.

I added chocolate to my note last night and squealed when I found out that she ate it. It's only Thursday and it feels like forever. My girl doesn't talk to me anymore. She doesn't talk to anyone unless she deems it absolutely necessary.

She doesn't even entertain Jeremy's fanboying anymore. She just smiles and moves on to the next opponent. I've heard people say they've never seen her this focused. That's what it seems like from the outside. Even Kayden tells her to take it slow but she just brushes him off by saying taking it slow won't defend her championship.

She might be at Jared's house. I didn't miss the way he held her at the gender reveal party. As if he was shielding her from me and that fucking hurt. But if there's one thing I know about Maddie, it's that she doesn't make people uncomfortable.

I'd have to actually talk to her if I want to know where she's been going but the thought itself is nerve-wracking. I looked up to stare at Mitchell's face. You'd think he had fallen asleep if not for the steady rhythm of his hand stroking my hair.

"What? Do you want me to take your mind off things?" It's something he shares with Maddie. They can tell what I'm thinking just by looking at me.

"Yes please. I want to tie you up." I'm not sure if he'd slip into the subspace at the moment but it's worth a shot. This will help me feel like I at least have control over something.

"Yes ma'am, by all means." And so we began. I tied his hands to the headboard and it was blur from there. The pleasurable kind. Pulling his hair, slapping and choking him, riding him into oblivion and overstimulating him. The sounds died down and we fell asleep, all sticky and sweaty.

I wished, hoped and dreamt of Maddie joining us.