Renting Hearts

sixteen- newlywed

Jonathan

My gaze, again—for the tenth time, if not more than—darted to Jadesola who was seated at the other end of the back seat of my car. Even though I had been glancing between her and the iPad resting on my thigh, I couldn’t take my gaze away this time.

I followed her gaze to the people hurrying into a public transport that we drove past. And I wondered what might be going through her mind.

After the day I was leaving work and saw Jadesola running towards a public bus, I thought hard about how to get her to ride with me every day. I wouldn’t have seen her if it wasn’t for Ahmed who pointed her out to me, and it felt very uncomfortable watching her go through that stress.

That was why this morning, I woke up earlier than I used to and then proceeded to rush through my workout. Determined to have breakfast with her, I prepared for work and waited ten minutes before she showed up downstairs.

I wasn’t expecting to convince her to start riding to work with me today. Knowing that she would argue it, I decided to take it one step at a time and discuss it with her. After how angry she got last time, I didn’t want her to think I was deciding for her, even though that wasn’t my intention to begin with.

So when I got the beautiful opportunity this morning, I took it and made proper use of it. I already convinced my mother that we wouldn’t be going on a honeymoon until the end of the year, I already made sure she wouldn’t bring it up to Jadesola. I knew she wouldn’t want the honeymoon, we didn’t have that type of relationship. But I needed something to start up a conversation with her, so I brought the honeymoon topic up and it worked in my favour.

Now, all I would have to do was eat breakfast with her every morning and ask her to ride with me.

Actually, I and Jadesola started off well. I remember us having a lengthy conversation on the day she signed the contract. But after everything that happened with me moving our wedding date forward, and the conversation the morning after, she avoided me as much as she could.

There were a few times I did try to make conversations with her, but she would reply with one word and then disappear. She acted like I was a disease she was running away from. So I decided to let her be. I decided it was for the best, and maybe that was what she was comfortable doing.

But then, I couldn’t stop thinking about how cute she was on the day she was drunk.

Cute? No, I meant how all over the place and funny she was. Even the sound of her voice had been permanently stored in my memory.

Ever since my failed proposal, she was the first person whose talkative personality didn’t irritate me. And for some reason, I yearned to hear her talk, I wanted to hear the sound of her voice.

Not the typical “yearning.” I only looked forward to it. I mean, she was my fake wife, we lived in the same apartment and we were bound to talk to each other anyway. So it was okay to look forward to having conversations with her. Just shut up.

Suddenly, Jadesola turned away from the window, her gaze meeting mine which was still on her. “I can’t believe I almost said no to this comfort.” She said, a small smile playing on her lips. I loved that she was never scared to say whatever she was feeling.

I shifted in my seat and cleared my throat, hoping to do away with all the thoughts in my mind— the thoughts that heavily involved her. If only the soft and sweet scent of hers would let me succeed. It had become a heavy distraction each time I found myself in her presence. She smelt so good, like so good that sometimes, it lingered in my brain while I slept at night, filling me with the thoughts of her. And of course, it was all against my will.