With Courage [Prince Caspian]

Goodbye

A note about the future of With Courage (and an olive branch)

Hi! Long time no see.

Let me get the bad news out of the way quickly – I won't be completing this story.

At least, not as fully as I once intended to.

I know that after three and half years of complete inactivity it looks as if I'd forgotten about this, but I haven't. It has haunted me like a very persistent, very frustrating poltergeist, and there have been many, MANY attempts over the years to get my shit together and finish it. But I can't.

I started writing this story when I was 18 and the outline was ambitious but very silly. Working out the details was a future me problem. Well, I'm 25 now and I can't unravel the mess my past self left behind. They're an asshole and if I ever get the opportunity to time travel I will use it to tell them that in person.

The intention was that there were going to be two more chapters – one of Amber in London finding her way back to Narnia but taking several years and a lot of emotional healing to do so, and the final chapter would be her return to Narnia and, of course, to Caspian. They were always going to reunite. I'm not a monster. (Though is it equally monstrous to delay their reunion for three and half years despite it sitting almost completely written in my documents because I was nervous? Maybe. Don't answer that)

Unfortunately, Chapter 21 refuses to be written. It is absolutely a fault with the chapter itself and not me, the writer who can't bring it fully into existence. History is hard, and when you're trying to stay true to your past love of time travel plots, it gets messy. Really messy. So I won't be finishing it.

BUT.

As mentioned above, I have Amber and Caspian's reunion almost completely written. And I intend to upload it. When? Who knows. After countless "I'll update soon!" and "No, I'm definitely going to finish this story!" replies I've learnt against making promises. Sometime in the future, that's all I can provide.

I've received so many lovely, uplifting comments under this story over the years. It baffles me that I still get Kudos and kind words after being inactive for so long and it cannot be stressed enough how much they motivate me not just to write this story, but to write anything at all. So if you've ever done either of those things, thank you. So much. The downside to this however is that I don't want to disappoint you. And I've never been able to shake the thought that the direction I was taking Chapter 21 in would be a disappointment to people. I didn't have the confidence in myself as a writer to think I could pull it off. I've rewritten it again and again, changed the plot countless times, and now it feels as if I can barely remember where it needed to go to succeed. Those 6.4k words (sob) will die with me.

As an olive branch, and because this scene will no longer be a flashback in Chapter 21 as previously planned, here's a mini moment from back on the Dawn Treader. It takes place post-storm, shortly before their arrival on Dragon Island. Until next time.

-Halfwit-halfblood

The relentless storm had plateaued the spirits of the crew. Sailors became irritable and listless, slacking in their tasks as the meals shrunk and the time between them slowly grew. In the hours between finding their next destination and reaching it many hours later, Kiers had persuaded Drinian to stage a play on the deck to boost their mood and encourage the sailors away from the railings, staring wistfully at the slowly nearing mass of land.

There were countless plays and musicals that were well received by the Narnian masses, and The Fool's Folly was one of many. It was hard to find a song that sparked a larger sense of community than One Step Off. Marco had dragged Amber to the left of the 'stage' to sit atop the barrels they'd be hauling off the ship once they arrived on the island. For her first Narnian show, she needed a good view, he insisted.