"--Phillip took a step closer, his eyes earnest and full of vulnerability. "I know I can't change what happened, and I don't expect you to just forget. All I can do is ask for a chance to show you that I'm different now..."
The light shined upon her shoulders and she embraced the man she once claimed to love. She never understood the emancipation of his love for her.
'Why after ten years did he decide to be this direct?' She thought.
'Was it true?
Did he really feel this way or was the weight of his guilt finally weighing on him?'
She quivered beneath him feeling the sudden urge to push him away but at the same time hold him closer.
'Should I really be here right now, holding him so close and yet feel so alone. With all this fear of love. Of the past... Am I the only one that could truly feel the process of emotions and pretend and let this one kiss hide away the struggle of the past ten years?'
She silently sighed and finally let go. Her sigh weighing within her the sudden epiphany of her thoughts.
"I can't Phil, I can't do it anymore... I can't love you anymore and I won't let myself go through another round of emotions just because you cannot face your own."
She walked past him and sat beneath the moonlit skies and onto the soft grass and ran her fingers across it.
"I loved you once Phil, but I can't keep hurting myself to jump over bridges when you won't walk past sticks for me."
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Phil stood there in silence.
'She was done, she wanted nothing to do with me and I let this happen.' He thought. His lips began to burn as he touched the rim of them with his thumb softly. The kiss he felt so deeply began to pierce into his heart.
"Give me 2 weeks."
Hilda stiffened.
"Two weeks of what?" She responded plainly.
He walked over and sat beside her determined. " To show you the man I have become!"
She faced him and their eyes met.
"PPFFFTTTT— HAHAHAHHahahahHAHHAHAHA!" She roared in laughter and shoved him away. "You cannot be serious right now— this is so damn cheesy?!"
He grabbed her shoulder suddenly and she fell silent.
"I am serious Hilds... I need you to take this seriously."
Her eyes met his, her face turned from humor to confusion, "Well Phil thats easy, its a NO!"
He furrowed his brow, "What do you mean no?! Did you not want me to show you that I have feelings for you?"
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Hilda felt cold as she sat on the grass under the moonlight, casting long shadows as she looked at him, who was pleading for a chance to prove he'd changed. Her heart ached, caught between love and the need to protect herself.
"Two weeks. It's almost cruel, how he believes that's all it will take to mend what's been broken." She thought.
"As if the soft moonlight and his promises could erase ten years of hurt.
I hate this.
I hate that I still love him.
I hate that his words still have the power to touch within the depths of my cold, bitter heart.
No!.. —But I can't forget the way he left, the way he discarded me without a second thought.
If I let him back in, I risk reopening old wounds that have only just begun to heal.
I have to do this.
She felt a thought began to brew within her, the high school version of her had begun... and she felt a bitter idea form.
"No.. I—I'll play along, let him believe he's winning me over, but I'll drive him away. It's not something I want to do—it's something I need to do.
I have to protect myself, to ensure I can finally move on without the constant fear of being hurt again.
So, I'll let him have his two weeks. I'll make him see why he shouldn't come back, why it's better for both of us if he stays away."
Two weeks... I love him, but I have to let him go. I can't afford to be hurt again."
She slid his hand off and sighed. She took off her heels and boyishly crossed her legs and sat back, "Look Phil if you wanted to go on a date— you could have just said that instead of coming here and professing your love for me out of the freaking blue and expecting me to believe every word you said."
Phil stuttered, shocked at the complete change of character and flirtatious speech, "I— No... I didn't..."
Hilda rolled her eyes, "Didn't what? Want to go on a date? Okay then—" She stood up and cleaned off her dress. "Then I guess I'm gonna go look for good old Emily, I haven't seen her at all since she came over so I'm gonna—"
His hand stopped her and pulled her back, "I didn't say no to the date."
"Good." She smiled, "Pick me up tomorrow at 7:30 and don't be late." She grabbed her heels and tossed her hair around smiling back at him.
Phillip stood up beaming with glee, "Okay Hilds I will be there!"
Hilda smiled softly and averted her gaze as she continued to walk off swaying her hips. She found herself pondering once more,"I have to let him go—this time for good!"
