Infinity

3

The next few weeks passed like a blur. Finilene and I kept seeing each other, pero lagi akong may nararamdaman na kakaiba sa mga usapan namin. Minsan siya 'yung mas tahimik, minsan ako naman. It was like something was hanging over us, but neither of us wanted to bring it up.

One afternoon, we were sitting in our usual spot at the park. The sun was starting to set, casting a warm, orange glow on everything. I noticed how quiet Finilene was, staring at the sky, lost in thought.

“Fin?” I called out softly.

She turned to me, her smile not as bright as it used to be. “Hmm?”

I hesitated for a second before asking, “Okay ka lang ba? Parang ang lalim ng iniisip mo lately.”

She sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder. “Iniisip ko lang… life, I guess. Ang dami ko lang napapansin. Ikaw? Okay ka lang ba?”

I shrugged, trying to act casual. “You know me, sakitin talaga ako ever since.”

Finilene lifted her head to look at me, worry flashing in her eyes. “James, hindi ka nagbibiro, di ba? Lately kasi napapansin ko, madalas kang hinihingal kahit sa maikling lakad lang.”

I let out a small laugh, pero ramdam kong may kaba sa loob ko. “Huwag kang mag-alala, Fin. Ganito na talaga ako. Mabilis mapagod, madaling sipunin, you know the drill.”

Her frown deepened. “Pero James, baka naman kailangan mo nang magpa-checkup. Wala namang masama, di ba?”

I looked away, feeling a bit uneasy. “Na-check up na ako dati pa, Fin. Wala naman silang sinabi. Sabi lang, mahina raw talaga katawan ko.”

She was quiet for a moment, her fingers tracing the edge of the bench we were sitting on. “Alam mo, natatakot ako para sa’yo,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

I turned to her, surprised. “Bakit naman?”

“Ewan ko,” she said, shaking her head. “Siguro kasi best friend kita. Ayoko lang isipin na isang araw...”

She didn’t finish her sentence, but I knew what she meant. The thought of either of us being sick or worse was something neither of us wanted to face. We had dreams, plans—things we wanted to do together. Hindi puwedeng may mangyari sa isa sa amin.

I reached for her hand, holding it tightly. “Huwag kang mag-alala. I’m fine. Saka kahit ano pa mangyari, hindi kita iiwan. We’ll get through this together.”

She nodded, pero alam kong hindi niya ako lubos na pinaniniwalaan. There was something in the way she held my hand tighter, as if she was afraid I might slip away at any moment.

“Basta,” she said, her voice shaking slightly, “ayokong mawala ka, James. Hindi lang kasi kita mahal, pero kaibigan din kita. At hindi ko kayang mawala 'yung best friend ko.”

Her words hit me hard, and I felt my chest tighten. She wasn’t just my infinity—she was my best friend, my kaibigan, my constant. Losing her would feel like losing everything, and I knew she felt the same way.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows around us, we sat there in silence. I felt her head rest against my shoulder again, her breathing soft and steady. But underneath it all, I could feel the weight of unspoken fears, the kind that neither of us knew how to confront.

I wanted to tell her everything would be okay, that we’d both be fine, but the words felt heavy, like they didn’t belong in this reality. Something was changing, and it wasn’t something I could fix with just a few comforting words.