Sinsation (Book Two)

69

The visit to the homeless shelter is bittersweet. I want to help the unfortunate...but what happened last time is still traumatizing. I would bail and go to the cancer ward, but I can't run away. If I do, I'll have a phobia of knives for the rest of my life. I conquered cars after the accident...I can do the same here.

As soon as we step out of the car, the noise of the fans blasts tenfold. There's a mix of cheers and screams-half are happy, supportive, and full of love. The other half... not so much.

I glance nervously at the signs:

MACY ALL THE WAY!!!

HARTLINERS ❤️❤️❤️

WE LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️

TECH QUEEN!!!

JACE'S HART!!!

The glittery font is the cherry on top. But others... they're brutal. I try not to read them, but it's impossible to ignore, especially when the haters scream the words:

CON ARTIST 🚫

FAKE BITCH!!!

PEDO HART 🚫

STAY AWAY FROM KIDS!!!!!

PEDO QUEEN!!!

CREEP 🚫🚫🚫

SLUT QUEEN!!!

HARTSTOPPERS ☠️☠️☠️

CUTOUTTHEHART!!!

My heart clench at the last one. Which was yelled at me by the crazy woman. Flashbacks of the knife inching from my chest turns me green. I go squeamish...a hot-cold sweat works my forehead. I grip Jace's arm, slowing my pace. "I can't do it...I'm sorry." I murmur.

"Don't apologize...you can say no."

"But Velma will be mad..."

He exhales hard. "This isn't about her...you're uncomfortable we can leave." Jace's arm wraps around me, offering silent support.

Velma's heels click against the pavement, faster than usual. I know she's behind us,my stomach tightens. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. "What do you mean leave!" Velma hisses. "Do you realize how much I've invested in this? The camera crew, paparazzi... booking costs ! Do you even understand how much planning went into this, Madi? You're not going to bail!!"

Her words sting, but I'm too frozen in PTSD to respond. I grip Jace's arm.

"We're leaving, that's final!" He directs me towards the SUV, signaling the guards to follow.

Velma scoffs, turning on her heels. "This is a disaster!!" She stomps off, barking orders to the crew and paparazzi. "Get footage of inside," she snaps, "wide shots! You! Splice footage of them leaving and chroma key them inside!" 

I watch as the crew hurriedly follows her instructions. They have to work harder because of me. I didn't want to let anyone down, especially not after everything Velma put into this. But I also can't ignore the dooming flashbacks.

Once in the car, Jace turns to me. "You don't have to feel bad, she'll get over it." I nod, grateful for his understanding, but the guilt still lingers.

We drive to the children's cancer ward, which is next on the list. My mood shifts from personal struggle to maternal bonding. Although none of the little ones are mine...I act as a nurturer. The walls are painted in bright colors, murals of animals and cartoons to cheer up the sterile hospital. There are dozens of kids, some bald from treatments, others pale and frail. They all light up when they see presents.