𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒐𝒑𝒆- 𝙰 𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔

𝙸𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛

Yay anxiety.

Too many sleepless nights
Lying awake, staring at the ceiling,
Left alone in the dark with my thoughts.
Staring at the text on my glowing phone screen,
Trying to drive them from my mind.
But that only works for so long.

Sitting in class,
Staring at the numbers and equations on the page.
Thoughts racing,
Stomach churning,
Tears pricking at my eyes.
I can't do this.

So bad, so bad, so bad.
There are days I feel like I'm drowning,
Crushed under the weight of the water over my head.
There are days I feel sick to my stomach,
But I push it down and suck it up and try to go on with my life.
I know how bad it can get.
So why do I still feel like an impostor?

I tell myself it's not bad enough,
That I don't need the pills,
The therapy,
The yoga-
The doctor heard what I said and thought I needed medication-
And yet I still feel like an impostor.

Why?
Why can't I believe myself,
Why can't I see what I need?
Why do I still feel like an impostor?