Chapter 1: Fall in Oklahoma

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START DATE: September 26th, 2024

END DATE:

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October 13th, 1991

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October 13th, 1991. 4:56 P.M.

            It was mid fall in Oklahoma. Leaves bristled and thick, ripe with colors. Orange, red, yellow... Just as many leaves on the grass as in the trees. I'd never seen so many in my life. None of it mattered however, it was the end of the world for me.

I was just seventeen years old, this is where it ended. That afternoon I was sent hurling down the highway, right back to my hometown, the same place I left behind all those years ago. I spent my childhood here. I didn't want to come back. This wasn't who I was anymore.

The sun sat low in the sky that afternoon, barely shining behind the infrequent hills as the stretch of road longed before us. The countryside of Oklahoma. And all I can think is, I've been abducted. I'm wedged in the corner seat of the car, behind the driver, and pinned against the door by my copious boxed belongings. I wish I could throw it all away, my life was over anyway, nothing mattered anymore.

All I wanted to do was open the door, tumble out of the moving car and onto the road. I'd scatter away into the forest like some rabid animal. Maybe then, and only then, would I have the chance to see my beloved boyfriend David, again.

I tried to zone out as I watched the scenery roll past me, but my mother was too busy rattling on about how disappointed she was in me. How she didn't raise me to be this way, and that I was being a bad influence on my younger sister, April.

And my own father hadn't so much as glanced my way since he found out what I almost did. I couldn't believe it. I was being punished for something I hadn't even done yet. It was trouble. Not the sort of trouble that could be fixed with a payment to a neighbor or a simple apology.

I had broken their hearts. This sort of trouble hadn't even happened yet, but the mention of it was enough for my own parents to send me on my way back to Tulsa. A town we had left seven years prior for a better life, and deemed never to return too, until now. Was it that I didn't deserve a better life? Or was it that they couldn't stand looking at me anymore...

I still had the note David had written me. The one that got me sent away. I unfold it to read over anytime I feel sick to my stomach. Which happened to be all the time. The one person I thought I could trust, he caused all of this. It was no other than my beautiful David...


Dear Maria,

It was never my intention to hurt you, I have absolutely no choice but to tell my parents what we were planning on doing. I wish I could save you the hassle of explaining all this to your parents, but the truth is... I'm not ready to have s*x with you. It's a big step, and you see, if I did that with you then we wouldn't be able to get married. My father is very old school, as you know... He found the... protection. I'm in a whole world of trouble myself... I think it's best if we break up. Sorry... David. 


Even the sight of the crinkled paper made my skin tighten with anger. The audacity he had to expose us, and blame it all on me. That's what my parents had heard when David's father came over to our home last week, hollering and shouting. He said how I would destroy David's life permanently by the mere thought of making love with him.

As if the act was even good for women... as if I would even feel pleasure from his inexperience. All I knew was I was sick of men! Tired of my father ignoring me when I hadn't even done anything wrong! Mad that teenage boys get to ruin my life and I'm the one to suffer!

At this point in my life, I wasn't even sure I liked men anymore but what I did know was that it would take a lot of convincing to get me back on board with the whole male race...Who am I kidding? I miss David... and I want my father to speak to me...

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