She Flies in Purple Skies

6: Insecurities

The night outside is thick with anticipation, the streets bathed in the dim glow of streetlights. The car hums softly as it glides through the quiet neighborhood. Inside, the tension is palpable, and the weight of the mission ahead presses down on everyone.

You sit in the backseat with Jimin and Jungkook flanking you. Namjoon and Yoongi are up front, their focused expressions betraying their thoughts. The car's interior is filled with the low hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of paper as the team goes over their plans one last time.

"I don't get it. What exactly does Graham have against you all? I highly doubt that you're ever gonna do sketchy things, you're all basically perfect gods." The words slip out before you can catch them, and immediately you wish you could take them back. Jungkook shifts beside you, his jaw tightening slightly. Jimin's smile falters, and Namjoon's eyes darken as he gazes out of the window.

Stupid girl. They're humans they're not perfect why did  you even say that?!

"But from the inside, you're all humans, right?" You try to redirect, "Humans who have their own private lives, free will, a family. I can't imagine the life of an idol. Full of expectations and uncertainty, where every single thing you do gets on record, critics at your nerves trying to prove something to god knows who. We all love you not just for being picture-perfect on the internet, but for the strong bond you share, and for the little flaws that make you even more perfect." You continue, your voice trembling slightly.

The air feels heavier, and when you glance around, their expressions reflect the weight of your words. Jungkook's gaze softens, and Namjoon turns to you with a small, grateful smile.

Jimin speaks first, his voice low. "It's... hard sometimes. Being perfect for the media."

Your heart aches. It seems so unfair that those who bring joy to others are deprived of it themselves.

Namjoon nods slowly, his gaze thoughtful. "We've been in this for so long... you'd think we'd be used to it by now."

Obviously. You took your sweet time to move on from Graham and now you're used to his constant texts trying to manipulate you, and its been only 4 months. These men have living this life for years. They definitely must've been used to the chaos.

"We're not," Yoongi interjects, his voice rough with exhaustion. "No one gets used to it. People think we've chosen this life, so we have to live with the consequences. But even the smallest, most innocent thing... holding baking soda for a cooking live stream... could become a headline accusing us of snorting cocaine." His hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter.

You can't see Yoongi's face, but you can picture the strain etched in his expression. The pressure, the expectations, the yearning to simply be human.

Jungkook lets out a soft sigh, his eyes cast downward. "And people wonder why we get tired. Why sometimes we just want to disappear, even for a little while."

Feeling a wave of empathy, you reach over and take Jungkook's hand, as well as Jimin's, squeezing them gently. "You don't deserve any of that. You just need to live your lives. That's all any of us want... to see you happy." you say on behalf of your big family of millions of ARMYs.

Yoongi's voice cuts through the moment, sharp but tinged with emotion. "It's not that simple. ARMY might want us to be happy, but the world wants us to be perfect. And when they can't tear us down with facts, they make up lies. Do you think ARMY sleeps easy when they see us trending for the wrong reasons?"

You remember the time Taehyung was accused of dating an idol from another company. The news cycle dragged on for months, and you, as a student in journalism, were obsessed with uncovering the truth. The stress and exhaustion were tangible. You worked your head off for days, reporting every account that promoted the rumours and lies. It was tiresome. You didn't succeed anyway. The company had to step in.

The weight of Yoongi's words settles into your chest, the enormity of what they face hitting you all at once. They don't just fight to stay relevant—they fight for their identities, their peace of mind, their right to be human.

The moment of shared understanding lightens the mood, and a warm, comforting connection forms. But as you prepare to offer more comfort, your thoughts are interrupted by a soft sigh from Jimin.

"We all have our demons, and sometimes, it's hard to admit them, even to ourselves."

Jimin's words prompt you to open up as well. "I get it." You speak, finally giving in and sharing what you never even shared with yourself, "I've been dealing with insecurities myself. I often feel like I'm never good enough, like I'm constantly falling short of what I want to be. Sometimes, I question whether my efforts even matter." You say. with the heaviest heart.

Jimin looks at you with a sympathetic expression. "I think everyone has those moments. Even when we're performing, there are times when I feel like I'm not living up to expectations. But talking about it helps."

You nod, tears slipping down your cheeks. "It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just want to become an able daughter to my parents. I just wish I was pretty enough for the job I want. You see these acne and pimples all over my face? These are stopping me from achieving me my dream."

Jimin shakes his head, "They are a part of you, Ami. Your acne, your scars, your flaws, they make up your constellation. That's what my verse is in our song Answer: Love Myself."

You nod, remembering his high key in that song. 'Why do you keep trying to hide your scars under your mask? Even the scars from your darkest past make up your constellation.'

Your heart beats ten times harder when Jimin opens his mouth and sings that verse softly for you. A tear escapes your eyes and you take out your handkerchief to wipe it.

Jimin's eyes widen, "Is that the Jungkook's?!" He asks. You look at him in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"That handkerchief! Jungkook embroidered one exactly like that! Is it yours?" Jimin asks.

"N-No, I got it from a man at the p-park I- Was that you?!?!" Your shock is mutual with Jimin's as Jungkook continues to look awkwardly at his feet.

"I had gone to the park for a stroll, but then saw you crying. I couldn't hold on and bear to see you like that. I wasn't trying to be malicious, I swear!"

Your heart swells a million times in your chest, your eyes filling up even more, "You have no idea how much you helped me. If it weren't for you, I would've given up." you say.

"And if it weren't for you, we would've given up too." The sincerity in his eyes show that he's not implying it just to you but to the whole ARMY. You bow your head in gratitude. The moment of shared vulnerability deepens the bond between you and the BTS members.

As the car approaches Graham's house, the atmosphere shifts from introspective to resolute. The mansion looms ahead, its imposing presence a reminder of the mission that awaits. The team's focus sharpens, and you all prepare for the next steps with renewed determination.