Frenemies With Benefits

Between Desires and Doubts

*TW: This part contains mentions of sexual content. If you cannot handle this then please skip this part.*

After that torturous evening had passed, I saw myself silently walking back home or, in this case, Akito's house. His parents weren't home since they were out on this romantic date, as they would call it, even though it was at a Burger King. Not that I'm shaming anyone, I like burgers as well.

Suddenly, I got a text on my phone, and my eyes widened as I read it, a little grin spreading across my face.

akitoe ginger: Hey Toya, I'm not coming home today. Friends are annoying me.

I knew I shouldn't be happy about this since I was so used to being alone and absolutely hated it, yet I couldn't help the slight excitement on my face. What would I do? No clue.

As soon as I made it to Akito's place, I rummaged through my pockets and took out the key, unlocking it and entering, smiling brightly at the dimly lit entrance, making it clear that his parents were not home and neither was he himself.

I immediately raised my voice, practically rushing upstairs as I sang a random song. Maybe me and Tsukasa's little karaoke really boosted my confidence. I would never have the guts to sing like this in my dad's house.

As I made it upstairs, I immediately fell on Akito's bed, not having the decency to go down to my mattress on my floor. A bed is more comfortable anyway. However, as I got comfortable, I noticed a few tissues scattered on Akito's bed.

Curious, I picked one up and inspected it, wondering why he had random tissues lying around. Was he sick? Did he spill something? Did he—

I immediately froze as I opened one up, my face going slightly red. I didn't even want to describe what I just saw...

I immediately threw it in the trash, scrunching my face up in disapproval. Why on earth would Akito have something like that and be as deranged as not to throw it away??

Did he do it with himself? With someone else..?

For some reason, that made my heart clench, just like it did that day at the cafe. I didn't want to imagine Akito actually doing something like that with someone else, yet it also made sense, mainly because he was the type of person who would be screwing around with other people while I was out somewhere.

I stood silent as I stared at the tissues for a bit longer before sighing. I was definitely being stupid. He probably did it with himself...

Though the thing was, that was even worse. Though, at this point, things like that have been completely normalized by now, so I guess I'm kinda the abnormal one.

I sat silently on my mattress, leaning against my pillow as I saw myself slowly lying down. I stare at the ceiling, pondering about what Tsukasa had mentioned. There was no way someone like me would be able to do something like that.

Yet the thought made me blush. To think of Akito on top of me... Or maybe I was going too far. Yeah, I probably was.

I didn't know why I was moving so much, yet I saw myself slowly lying on my stomach, hugging the pillow and staring at where his desk was. I didn't know what sort of thoughts my brain was having and knew that this wouldn't end well.

I tighten my grip on the pillow and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. What if I just focus on my own happiness? Who cared if I wasn't a "pure, innocent little boy" anyway? That kind of guy is hard to find anyway.

I tried to imagine what the perfect scenario would be like with Akito.

Maybe I try to tease him perhaps? I dress in something revealing and rile him up. Then maybe he would think I'm the most cool and attractive man on the planet, then he would want to do it with me!

I couldn't help the stupid little grin that appeared on my face at the thought. I, the nerdiest and most self-conscious guy, do something like that with Akito, the most popular guy in the school. Even though his reputation was practically ruined because of me, and now he thinks I'm in love with Rui, I still get excited thinking about it.

I pulled out my phone and went to the photos app, bringing up a picture we took at school one day. I went through the photos, and my eyes fell on Akito's slightly unbuttoned vest in one of the photos of us being stupid.

My face went bright red, and all my attention went to it. It was like I forgot about anything else that was going on in the picture, and trust me, it was a lot. We were exploding things in science class, so a lot was going on.

For some reason, the smallest thing like that was driving me crazy, so why was I so confident about doing that with Akito..?

My eyes were still wide open, and even my breathing was quickening. I continued to scroll through the pictures that day, my face growing redder with every single photo I went through.

As I shuffled around and got into my old position on my back, I noticed something I probably didn't want to see...

Maybe I shouldn't have been thinking about that kind of thing because now, my body has decided to have its own opinions about those photos.

I immediately got embarrassed, forgetting that I was alone. I hid myself in my thin blanket and panted slightly, trying to calm myself down, yet my thoughts just went to those pictures and those very explicit thoughts I was having about him.

Yet even though every single time this had happened, most being after a single interaction with Akito, I usually just ignored it and hoped it would go away since I just thought it was wrong to even think about doing those things. This time, though...

I hated to say it, but what if I didn't ignore it? Just for this once...

Maybe it was okay to get a little bit dirty...

...

(1020 Words)

Next part: October 3, 2024