Zephyr's Promise

20

I thought he was going to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. Wishful thinking, the moment he realized what I wanted he ran out of here like the plague. As he left , he confirmed what I have always known. Men like him would always end up with a woman like Ira. The perfect, suitable type. I don't look nor do I act the part. My clothes are too baggy, hair extremely wild, eyesight poor, and most of all I ask too many questions.

Atlas isn't a man that can afford to be weighed down by me. If I were his it'd only bring trouble. His men wouldn't approve, which doesn't matter much seeing as he doesn't want me anyhow. If he did he would have made it known by now.

Why didn't he kiss me?

I sigh leaning back into his mass amount of pillows. Generally around this time of the night I force myself into bed. I toss and turn until I resolve that I won't sleep. Instead I think about the possibilities of where all this could go-how we would fare. More than I would like to admit I often think about Atlas.

In bed I lay awake imagining his ice blue eyes watching me. I think of how it would feel to become lost in him.

Tonight I close my eyes while chained in his bed. Memories of his rejection replay over and over. I knew that we wouldn't ever be more than alliances, somehow those fleeting thoughts have ingrained themselves in me. I hated that I once again failed in my judgment. All this time I really thought there was something there. Some attraction.

Now all I feel is dirty for picturing him in that light. For lusting after him the same way Melvina has. I'm no better than her.

His door creaks open and I quickly shut my eyes. I can't take any more conversation from him. My guilt will only continue to bubble up.

"Nile." I roll onto my side trying to block out his voice. "I know you're not sleeping." He chuckles lowly.

"How?" I sigh sitting up.

"Because I know you." He says matter of factly "Here." He passes me a leather bound folder. A stack of papers are inside, the weight of what this information contains is heavy. "This is all you should need. If you come across anything else that you don't have I'll get it for you."

"Thanks Atlas." The guilt bubbles up just enough to make me feel as if I could explode. He's put his entire trust in me and all I have done is long after him. Linger on the moments where I thought there was something that there isn't. More than feeling like an idiot I feel like a predator.

"How do you feel?" Looking up at him I wonder why he's asking me this. He can't possibly know the turmoil spinning through my brain. "Your ankles, Nile. Or is there something else?" Inquisitive eyes strip me bare with their prodding.

"They're fine, a bit sore."

"Stop yanking on the restraints and they'll feel better." His frame steps towards my side of the bed. Logically I know it means nothing. When he sits on the end, placing my foot into his lap I can't help the warmth that unfurls inside.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you haven't done any real damage in my absence, kitten." He continues whatever exam he is doing. Rough fingers gently slide across each muscle and bone on my ankles.

When he's finished he doesn't move. Instead he looks down at the floor, thinking about things I have no right to ask him about. That isn't my place in his life. Today the roles have been made completely clear.

Don't speak a word to him. Whatever this thing was is over Nile.

"Atlas." Softly I call for him. Somehow I didn't expect those eyes to accost me in the way they do. "I need to sleep." I want to tell him he clearly needs rest as well. Again, not my place so I don't.