Utterly Insane (Patrick Bateman x Reader)

Chapter 3- Better Card And Ms. Innocent

The next morning, Patrick is at the drycleaners trying to get his white bed sheets washed, but is instead arguing with a Chinese woman behind the counter since she is speaking in Chinese, which he doesn't understand.

"Bleach-ee? Are you trying to say "bleaching?" Patrick yells as he frantically moves his unlit cigar around. "Bleach-ee. Oh, my god. Two things." Patrick says talking over her as her husband looks over the blood-stained sheets. "One, you can't bleach a Cerruti. That's out of the question. Two. I can only get these sheets in Santa Fe. These are very expensive sheets and I really need them clean." He says louder.

As the woman keeps arguing with him, Patrick leans closer to her. "If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you." The woman gasped as she talked faster. "Now listen, I have a lunch meeting at Hubert's in twenty minutes with Ronald Harrison, and I need those sheets cleaned by this afternoon." 

The woman continues talking making Patrick frustrated. "Listen, I cannot understand you!" Patrick starts moving his hands as a robot as he laughs. He then slaps his hand down on the counter making the woman walk around the counter towards him. "This is crazy! You're a fool! I can't cope with this. Stupid bitch-ee!" He says on the verge of tears. "Understand!?" He says placing his thumb in the middle of his eyes.

Behind him, the door opens making the bell ring as a woman walks in. "Patrick?" She questions making him turn around quickly. "Hi, Patrick. I thought that was you." She smiles at him as he slightly smiles back.

"Hello, missus." Patrick mumbles a random name not remembering who the woman is.

"Isn't it ridiculous? Coming all the way up here? But they really are the best." She says.

"Then why can't they get these stains out?" Patrick asks grabbing the sheets off the counter. "I mean, can you talk to these people or something? I'm not getting anywhere."

She stares at the stained sheets with wide eyes. "What are those?"

"Oh, well, it's cranberry juice. Cranapple." Patrick quickly comes up with a lie, hiding the stain.

"Really?" She says not taking her eyes off the sheets.

"Listen, if you could talk to them, I would really appreciate it. I'm really late. I have a lunch appointment at Hubert's in fifteen minutes." He states placing the sheets in her hands.

"Hubert's moves uptown, right?" She asks.

"Well, oh boy, listen, I've gotta go. Thank you, Victoria." Patrick says moving close to the door and finally being able to remember her name.

"Maybe we could have lunch one day next week? You know, I'm downtown near Wall Street quite often." Victoria says trying to convince him.

"I don't know, Victoria. I'm at work all the time." Patrick says at the same time trying to leave.

"Well, what about a Saturday?" She questions.

"Next Saturday?" Patrick says checking his watch.

"Sure." She agrees.

"Can't, I'm afraid. I have matinee of Les Mis. Listen, I've really got to go. I'll-Christ. I'll call you." Patrick says before leaving the cleaners.

"Okay. Do." She says as she looks at the couple behind the counter.

~~~

In Patrick's apartment, he is walking around talking to Courtney on a portable phone holding a video box in one hand. On the TV is playing a porn movie as background noise as he talks.

"Listen, you're dating Luis. He is in Arizona. You're fucking me, and we haven't made plans. What could you possibly be up to tonight?" Patrick asks as he sits down on the sofa.