Between Chords and Paragraphs (Polin fanfic) EN

Chapter 19

Colin

When I finished the concert, I felt a momentary relief, but also a surge of anxiety that rushed through me from head to toe. I had done everything I could, from the song to the words I'd thrown into the microphone, hoping they would reach Penelope. I had laid my heart out, exposed for everyone to see, but especially for her.

After the last song, I stepped off the stage amid cheers, but I didn't feel the usual thrill. I wasn't celebrating. The only thing that mattered to me was her. Penelope. And the possibility that this might be my last chance to fix what had started to break at some point.

They told me she was waiting in the VIP room. So, without stopping to talk to the band or greet the crew, I made my way toward her. My mind was swirling with the same questions: what if it wasn't enough? What if, despite everything, I had already lost her trust? Because, when I thought about it, we barely knew each other, right? Just a few months, and we were already caught up in something that seemed bigger than we could handle.

When I got there, I saw her sitting on one of the couches, her legs crossed, eyes fixed on the floor. She looked thoughtful, and in a way, vulnerable. I approached slowly, as if I were intruding on her personal space, afraid to interrupt something crucial happening inside her.

—Pen,— I called softly, stopping a few steps away from her.

She looked up and met my gaze, and the first thing I saw in her eyes was exhaustion. She was tired, not just from the day, but from everything we had been going through. But there was something else there, something I couldn't quite read.

—Hi...— she replied, her voice low, almost a whisper.

There was no reproach in her tone, but there wasn't any relief either. I didn't know how to begin, didn't know if I should apologize again or if that would just make things worse. All I wanted was for her to understand how much she meant to me, how much I needed her in my life.

—The concert was great, Colin,— she said suddenly, breaking the silence, though her expression was still hard to read.

—It's all thanks to you,— I replied quickly, leaning toward her. —Pen, I don't know how else to say this. There's no one else. I swear. Cressida, the tour, all of it... none of it means anything to me if you're not in my life.

—Colin...— she started but paused, dropping her gaze again. —It's not just Cressida or the tour. It's... everything. It's all felt so fast. And I think, somehow, we both just got carried away. We barely know each other, and yet, here we are, in the middle of this chaos.

Her voice trembled slightly, and for the first time, I realized she might be right. We had rushed into this. We had let the intensity of our initial connection carry us to places where we hadn't had time to build a solid foundation. And now, we were facing the consequences of that.

—I know,— I said, sighing and dropping down next to her on the couch. —I know it's all been fast. That we're trying to hold onto something that's only just begun. But, Pen... I don't want to lose you. I don't care if it's been months or years, I know how I feel about you. I know you're the person I want to be with.

She stayed silent for a moment, biting her lip, something she did when she was nervous or deep in thought. And I understood. The distance, the concerts, my nomadic life with the band... all of it was a huge challenge. But if she gave me a chance, I was willing to change anything necessary to make it work.

—And what about the distance, Colin?— she finally asked. —You're always traveling. And when I'm with you, I feel like I can barely keep up, like you're always on the move. And it scares me... it scares me to think that, even though I trust you, this might be too complicated.

Her words hit hard because I knew she was right. My life seemed like it would always be like this, from one place to another, one concert after another. I hadn't considered how hard it must be for her. For someone who needed stability, security.

—You're right,— I admitted, looking at her directly. —The distance sucks. But, Pen, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. We can find ways to spend more time together. I can organize the tours differently. I can even cut back on them if that's what we need. I promise I'll find a way.

She looked at me, surprised, and I didn't blame her. It was the first time I'd ever offered to change something so fundamental in my life, but I was willing to do it for her. If it meant having her by my side, I would.

—Would you really do that?— she asked, a mix of disbelief and what seemed like a glimmer of hope in her voice.

—Whatever it takes,— I replied firmly. —I don't want this to end, Pen. I don't want what we have to fade away because we didn't give it a real chance.

She was silent for a few seconds, and then a small smile formed on her lips.

—You're an idiot, you know that?— she said, laughing softly. —I can't believe you'd cut back on your tours for me.

—I'd be crazy not to,— I said, feeling a sense of relief start to spread through my chest. —Besides, it'd be a great excuse not to have to see Cressida every day.

She laughed a little louder, and that sound filled me with hope. It was a sound I hadn't heard in what felt like an eternity.

—You know what's funny?— she said, leaning on my shoulder. —Sometimes I think I barely know you. But then, when I look at you, it feels like I've known you my whole life.

I stayed quiet for a moment, processing her words. Because I felt the same way. Despite how little time we had shared, how new everything was, there was something about Penelope that made me feel like we had been together much longer. As if fate had crossed our paths at the exact moment.

—I know,— I whispered, gently stroking her hand. —And even though it's complicated, I'm willing to make it work.

—I know, Colin,— she said after a pause. —I believe you. But if something like this happens again, I don't know if we can keep going.

—I know, Pen. I won't let you down,— I promised, looking into her eyes.

We sat like that for a while, in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. I felt like something had shifted, something deeper. It wasn't just the adrenaline of being together anymore; it was the steadiness of two people who knew what they wanted. And what we wanted was to be together, no matter the obstacles.

After a while, we got up and headed to my hotel. I was nervous. I had prepared something special for her, something I hoped would make up for all the mistakes and misunderstandings of the past few weeks. When we opened the door to the room, Pen's expression said it all.

The room was filled with rose petals scattered across the floor and bed, with soft lights illuminating the space. The candles created a warm, cozy atmosphere, and the scent of flowers filled the air. I had planned this surprise for days, hoping it would be a special night. And now, everything seemed to fall into place perfectly.

Penelope stood still in the doorway, taking in the scene, and then looked at me with a mixture of astonishment and tenderness.

—Colin, when did you do all this?— she asked, with a smile she could barely contain.

—Well, I thought after the concert we could use some calm,— I replied, scratching my neck nervously. —And, besides, I wanted to make up for my screw-ups.

She laughed and walked up to me, hugging me.

—You're crazy, you know that?— she whispered in my ear.

—Just a little,— I said, wrapping my arms around her. —But for you, it's worth it.

And in that moment, I knew we had overcome an important barrier. The doubts, the distance, everything else... we would face it together. Because what we had, though complicated, was real. And I was willing to fight for it.