I need you MARJ

PLEASE!

~5 days later~
I haven't eaten or moved in days. I've only gotten up to get a drink or go to the toilet. I keep scrolling through my phone, looking at all the photos, my head spinning, my heart aching. I text autumn.

Reece: can I speak to Marjorie?

Autumn: if you do you will be on loud speaker.

Reece: okay,

Autumn rings me, "hello?" I say my voice shaking. "Reece?" I hear Marjorie say back. "Marjorie I'm sorry please, I love you I can't bare to go out spate ways," I say words flowing out my mouth. I hear autumn take  the phone off Marjorie. "Fuck off reece she doesn't need your stories she already made up her mind," autumn hangs up the phone. I lay there staring at my phone. "FUCK!" I yell grabbing a bottle smashing it then picking up the shards. " I fucking  deserve this," I whisper throwing my head back in pain and the glass tears into my skin. "Let me feel the pain," I raise my voice. I cut deeper. My arms covered in cuts. My skin stained. "I deserve this!" I yell at my self. I lay back down falling into a deep sleep.

~the next morning~

I wake up "what have I done?" I say looking at my arms. Last night I didn't realise I had work and it was meant  to be one of the hottest days. My body weak I need to eat so people wouldn't ask questions. I scoffed down some breakfast. Getting ready and leaving. I was already sweating . How am I meant to do this all day? I pull into my nursery. I let out a sigh then see Carly skipping in. I don't think she knows what's going on. "Be strong for Carly!" I say to myself. I was sweating in this jumper but I couldn't risk it.

~a few hours later~

Carly burst into the office. I quickly rolled down my sleeves. "Hi Carly." I say loom up at her. "What do you want from the shop? The usual?" She asks me with a smile. "Yes thanks Carly," I say grabbing my wallet. "Here," I say handing her some cash. "Thanks Reece!" He voice cracks as she skips out my office. I love Carly, (BOT IN THAT WAY!) she makes me smile even when I've had my rough days.

~30 mins later~

Carly finishes her sandwich. And discards her rubbish along with mine. She leaves. I walk to the men's room. I turn and lock the door. I shove my fingers down my throat making me sick. I clean up and flush the toilet. I hear winter come in. "Shit!" I whisper. How long had he been in here? I walk out to winter staring at me. "Reece are you okay sounds like you were throwing up?" He asked concerned. "Yeah just not feeling great," I say rubbing my head. My sleeve falls down revealing the cuts. "Reece?" Winter says as he places a hand on my shoulder. "What are those?" He says pointing at my arm. "Oh a cat scratched me when I went to pet it," I say."Oh right!" Winter says as he walks out. I walk back to my office sitting down. Delilah comes in. "Reece aren't you hot in that hoodie?" She asked as she tilts her head. "No I'm fine," I say wiping the sweat off my face. "Okay," she says as she turns around and walk out.

~back home~
I discarded my shoes at the door ripping off my jumper revealing  my cuts. They sting. I lay back on the sofa. Grabbing the left over whisky and chugging it. I fall asleep in my clothes. I feel cold empty and lonely. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.