"You are smiling like a fool" I heard Hiten comment. Not minding them, I did my work silently. Maanya looked at me but walked away. Anish knew something happened between us. He even made a theory that I pissed her big time and I am enjoying the victory. Logging out of my work, I left early. Maanya saw me but did not react. People have a way of expressing themselves. Not all follow books and not everyone is capable to love the other the way they are loved. I had nothing to complain. For a person, who never allowed someone to even stand close to her citing it as violation of her personal space, she initiated the kiss. I turned around and walked inside her cabin. Closing it loudly, I caught her attention. She got startled and shouted at me for spoiling her door.
"What is wrong with you?" She shouted annoyed.
"Come with me. Lets go home?" I said.
"No. I have work." She stated.
"Then I have no choice but to sit here." I said pulling myself a chair. Maanya eyes widened and she got up to clear her things.
"Dont create a scene!" She yelled packing her bag. I held her hand and pulled her over the desk. People outside the cabin will definitely assume that we are having heated argument.
"Look, Maanya, I feel responsible for you. It is my duty to be with you and make sure that you are home safe. Dont argue with me over this. Lets leave." I spoke in a low voice. If she cannot trust men, then I would want to be the one the can. She was nervous for a fraction of second. This closeness bothered her and she did not feel discomfort.
"Am I clear?" I asked her. She nodded her head as yes.
"Now, it is way past your working time. We work to live a comfortable life not sacrifice our comforts. Right? Pack you things. Give me your car keys. Dont bring it from tomorrow. We will travel by bus together and on the days you need to come early or leave late. I will get my bike or wait for you. Got it?" I said to which she just looked at me.
Moving closer, I looked back at her
"This does not even cover basic gestures I should be doing." I said. She took her hands from mine. Packing her bag, she gave instructions to our colleagues about the work which needs to be done. Walking around her cabin, she placed files in their place in between stealing glances towards me. I silently watched her. It was always fascinating how she has strength to deal with everything. We both walked out of office and people in there were surprised that we were cordial for the first time in weeks.
"Who was your first love?" Maanya suddenly questioned me. I stopped and looked ahead.
First love?
"Someone I used to know" I replied.
"Can you describe me? Your first love?" She asked. Interwining our fingers, I pulled her close to me.
"She was someone I admired the most. Like a smell of trees just after the rain, like soothing sound of waves hitting the shore.. she was beautiful and admirable in a way only I could see it." I described my first ever love. Maanya was silent.
"If you ever meet her again. Will you love her back?" She fired her insecurities again.
"You shouldn't worry. I will never ever meet her again. If you ask me if I will love her then I dont know. To be honest, one never forgets their first love. What I know for sure is, I will admire her a bit more than before if she come back again and I will love you a bit more." I replied. She held my hand in hers and pulled me back.
"So you will be loving two women?." She questioned.
"No. I will not love her. My admiration will be there, as she was the first person in my life to make me realise the importance of being loved and able to love someone else. She showed me, we can love someone yet not want them to have same feeling towards us. I think I owe her that much right?" I said flicking her nose.
"So she is your first love and you are not hers? Does she even know you feel that way?" Maanya asked me.
"You should be relieved. What is it with you today? Are we playing 20 questions game? Can I ask you the same question?" I asked.
"Well, my first love can't be considered as love. I was stupid to believe that men are like those which we see in dramas. I don't believe in that gender anymore. I was an idiot to even think something like that will attract me." She said and I nodded my head.
"So which gender I belong to then?" I questioned. We stopped walking, she looked at me then bent her head down. Taking a step forward, Maanya stood close to me.
"With you, I feel like breaking my beliefs. With you, I feel like myself. The feeling which you had for your first love, I think I feel same for you." She spoke in a low tone making me widen my eyes.
Did Maanya really confess her feelings in the middle of busy road? Did I hear it right? Is it the reason she asked me to describe my first love???
"I..I dont know Dwii, I... answered you as genuinely as I can" she ended her confession looking into my eyes. Small smile played on my lips. Maanya is simple. People like her are rare to find now a days. Cupping her face in between my hands. I made her look at me.
"I am glad you chose to talk about me. I don't need to know more than this. I guess now I am not someone you know right?" I asked her. She nodded her head as no and I chuckled. Resuming our walk back home, we were silent. She commented about vegetable vendors and faulty roads whereas I listened to her talk.
I think the burden which we carry in our hearts is more heavier than the ones we carry in our mind. Today, Maanya shared piece of her burden to me. An insight into why she chose to run away from me initially.
I guess life does gives you second chance to experience first love again.
*****************
Unedited.
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I realised, I stopped writing fast pace stories. Slow burns are my thing now I guess.
Do let me know what you think about this chapter?
Until next time:)
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