FRAGMENTS OF US

Chapter 03

The past can't be changed nor can be re-lived. It can only be acknowledged for what it was. And people in it? They will live with us forever no matter which timeline we are in.  That's the beauty of our human brains. Not every wave has similar pattern and not every wave is our friend while surfing. We can only assume it does not cause any harm while praying to survive and get kick of out the sport. Like a cricketer touching the ground before entering into the field or a skater holding their skates to heart, a surfer is engulfed by the wave to protect him from outer world which it feels isn't suitable for him. Little does the ocean know that men fear it more than anything on the earth.

"So you mean these wave patterns can withstand the force? This looks presentable. Let's see what our client demands over this." Maanya spoke as my colleagues nodded their heads. Although I am chief designer in this company, everyone goes with her decision. I don't mind being looked down. It doesn't matter when you are confident that your design will have everything a surfer finds in it. She glanced at me then moved ahead with the presentation. After her late night call, we hardly spoke about us. My mind wanted to give her time but my heart demanded that I tick her emotions off.

And so I did.

"I want to know, average weight of the surfer. Get me stats on it. More than gravitational pull, their weights play a major role for stability." I said looking at her. She nodded allowing me to speak.

"Let's get stats for both women and men. I would like to collaborate for women surfers. I am bored designing for men. It's no fun." I said which slightly made her change her expression.

" That's a good idea! I am sure many would approach us! Market is inclined towards women empowerment and we can grab deals if word is put out, since our designs are going good,  I think women surfers will get attracted towards our company." Anish my colleague answered. I nodded my head observing Maanya who did not stop moving her pen.

"We have a deal actually. I was hesitant to take up since we are not specialized in dealing with their demands. Since you want to experiment and take up the job. I will go through it. " Our head spoke. Maanya by now stood in her place walking towards our board. Her impatient behavior made me smile. Everyone knows, once I accept the deal, I would be working closely with the client. Their surfing pattern, interest and what kind of tides they chose are to be noted before I move with my design for them.

Maybe someone worthy will find me attractive?

"No." She shouted. We all looked at her. She was lost maybe thinking that I already chose someone. With alarmed tone, Maanya turned around.

"We shouldn't leave him alone to deal with things. Let's form a team if we get a deal. The more the merrier and we can finish off work fast. Right? Client need not meet us multiple times, if we plan to distribute the work. Let Dwij, I mean Dwijain take up designing only. " She suggested. My name on her lips sounded sexy and the correction she made, it swooned me.

Am I hopeless romantic now?????

Our head agreed to this proposal and he left us alone to talk with clients. Anish was busy correcting the design whereas, Hiten my co- worker who does all the coding for designs was helping him. My job was done and they did not find faults or possible problems with it. Getting up from my place, I went back to my desk. All the while I could sense her eyes on me.

Maanya has a way of asking people favours, which proved beneficial for our company. She is good with negotiations, manipulative talks and what not. But with me, I feel her true self comes out.  I have never seen her arguing me. Like her inner child feels safe with my presence.

But does she?

" I need to talk with you. " She announced which made people around us suspect. I nodded my head following to her cabin. Closing the door carefully, she turned around.

"Why did you disconnect my call?" She questioned.

"Well, when I did call you?." I teased.

"I did!." She shouted throwing her hands in the air. People outside looked at us as if I am getting an earful.

"Well, you said what you wanted to say. What more was left to talk about?" I asked her. She was silent for a moment then raised her head.

"I wanted to talk." She answered.

"When did I ever stop you from?." I questioned her again.

"I did not mean what I meant.. I do not want you to stop. But I can't.. " she trailed looking lost. So we are at it again?

"I thought you rejected me. A clear no.  Now you are telling me that's not what you meant? You want me to love you but you can't love me back?" I asked her. She stood shocked at my words. I never want to beat around the bush in her case.

"Well, I never said I can't." She trailed again. Now I was pissed. Taking two steps back. I tilted my head to look at her from a different angle.

"What?" She shouted.

"No matter how I look at you.  I don't seem to understand what you just said was not really what you meant. Aren't you being confused or trying to run around the room ?" I asked her.

"I can't fall in love like you did! It's not easy!." She shouted with aggression.

"Try me?." I replied.

"You are not a dish!." She shouted again. I smiled how riled up she is now.

"Well, I can be for you. " I replied closing distance between us. With nose flaring and tomato red face, she pushed me back slightly.

"I don't want to stop you.."

"And see till where this can go? Test the waters if you will be able to love me back? Understand my mind so that you don't get betrayed in the name of love?." I finished her sentence. Maanya's eyes widened as she looked at me. Someone knocked on our door and we turned around to find Hiten with his laptop. He signaled her its urgent.
Whole office just witnessed Maanya pushing me back and they must be thinking I am victim of her anger now.

"You don't need to love me back, you certainly don't need to be walk on nails around me. It's a feeling that comes to us naturally. I am happy with the fact that you don't hate and you don't want me to stop loving you.  Which means, I still got some chance with you. Right love?." I asked her. Maanya signaled him to wait outside and turned towards me.

"I have no interest to love someone." She declared.

"You what you said was..let me put this way. You don't want me to stop loving and that means, I can love anyone I WANT. Right?." I asked bending to her level. She looked angry at this point.  If she can twist words then I can too.

"Thank you for letting me know. Maybe in near future I can find someone who allows me to love them unconditionally. Till then, I will try to love you,  the way I have done all these years!." I said walking backwards. Her hands fisted and she bubbled with anger. I enjoyed the sight infront of me. Loved it to be honest.

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Unedited.

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