I strolled on the road aimlessly thinking over the same past. The beauty of it? It never changes. But my future can? Right?
Only if I choose to come out of it.
"I see you are enjoying the weather." I heard Hiten say. I knew he was following me silently. I smiled at him and did not respond.
"Are you two together?" He asked which I expected.
"Yes from my side. Don't know from her side?" I said still smiling at him.
"It's ok, as long as you choose to see her and Maanya - you, as her potential future. Things will eventually fall into place no matter how much you try to avoid it." He commented. I stood frozen in my place.
"People say the present matters more but I say the past does. What you think now affects your future. But to do what you have to do now, your past needs to be clear, I mean you need to be clear of it." He spoke.
"I don't get you. " I said.
"What I am saying is, if in your future, she is your wife or say, official girlfriend, then in the past, you have done something to give her that place." He continued.
"I still don't get you. You seem to talk in puzzles." I said looking at the raging ocean.
"Hmmm, you both had a good past. You were compatible. Tolerant. You as her subordinate were extremely considerate of her emotional bursts at the workplace. So I think you both will eventually find each other in the future." He said.
"You mean to say I have done these so I get to keep her?" I laughed at his logic.
"You might not see it. But it is a major portion of her life. Women usually judge men based on the reaction we give to their worst behavior, something only they know. Dwijain, you have passed all the assessments she made on you before allowing you to be this possessive of her. So I believe, the past is important. For us to behave properly in the present and mend a way for the future." He said smiling at me. I stood silently. Somehow, whenever I feel down about her she sends someone to tell me that it is ok to be sad but it is important to move on from it.
"I am not sure how your theory applies to my life. But your words comforted me a bit about something I have been worried about for many years." I spoke and he nodded his head. According to my friend here, I should learn from my past, accept what's given to me in the present, and mindfully pave the way for the future. Right? I am not confused, stuck up nor afraid of what I have been through. I know it won't repeat but you know the uneasy feeling which haunts you? The feeling where you think you could have avoided it, done something to prevent it, and gnawing emotion that eats your brain that no matter how much you care not to repeat the situation, it will eventually happen because that is what my mind says.
"Let's share our troubles in the future. Maybe we can find a solution in other words?" Hiten spoke making my thoughts halt. I nodded and smiled at him. I always heard we find solace in people in people we least expect. Hiten smiled at me again before walking towards the ocean. I spotted Maanya playing with sand and the idea of her being with me made me happy. Hiten joined her and they started conversing. Taking a deep breath, I left them alone. I still can't give her explanations regarding my life here. Although she is someone who helped me to come back to normal, I still feel restricted. My phone rang and I stopped in my tracks.
Do I need to talk?
"Hello?" I answered in a low voice.
"You finally answered my calls. Why do you avoid me? You remember me right or do I need to make my presence known at Jose's place now?" He asked and I just hummed.
"I heard you like a girl? Can I see her?? I heard Jose will be manufacturing surfboards for Maria? It is a good thing that your CEO decided to send you here, especially to our Jose." He spoke and I hummed.
"You even oceans here know that she loves you more than them, maybe more than me and Jose. You my friend need to remember her but not immerse yourself in self-sabotage." He said.
"Why does everyone talk the same? As if I am attending a funeral. I am fine. Let me deal the way I want. It is my life. Stop talking about her. Where are you now?" I asked him.
"I will meet you at my place! Bring your girl too! You are not allowed without her!" He shouted before disconnecting our call. I turned around to find Maanya standing a bit far making patterns with her feet on the road. I walked to her and intertwined our fingers, she resisted it but I smiled and kissed the side of her forehead. I could see her pouting as I chuckled. Texting Hiten and Jose, I let them where we are heading. My heartfelt content holding her close to me, as Hiten said, I know she is my future. No matter how many times we choose to meet differently or have our first meet in a different dimension, My heart will go in search of hers in this chaotic world. I am that sure of my girl Maanya.
"Where are we going? You seem to have too many friends here that you forgot about the ones who came with you." She commented pouting cutely.
"Well, I can forget Hiten because he is just a friend but you my love always stay on my mind and in my heart. I saw you making sand castles and conversing with Hiten. You seem to be enjoying this place a bit much without me beside you ? Hmm?" I chuckled making her look at me. She scoffed and pulled away. I know Maanya has many questions in her head, the girl I know will not sit back without overthinking about whatever she heard at home and now. Seeing her so calm about it, I can only guess that maybe she wants to wait or burst on me at the end of the day.
"I am only glad that you are alone and not with a girl. So, I will let this slide." She said. I pulled her to me and tightened our intertwined fingers. She blushed but did not move away. At this point, I am so whipped that I don't care if she doesn't verbally confess her feelings. I realized that for Maanya actions matter more than anything. She believes what she sees rather than the promises I make.
We reached my friend's cafe and seated ourselves near the alcohol section. I waited for him to finish his meeting with a client. Maanya still held my hand looking around. She looked beautiful wearing a crop top and shorts, something so casual to make her look like a runway model. Or maybe I am too in love with her to realize she is under-dressed for this place.
"I could have changed my clothes. I look like some beggar. I brought good one piece for these occasions." She said looking at me angrily.
"Show me all your pieces, I will decide where you can wear them. I don't want people seeing you in them other than me." I said with a smile.
"Then I will be wearing them only in my bedroom. There are people everywhere!" She scoffed moving her hands around.
"I prefer taking them off then. When it's me, you don't need any." I whispered and she hit me on my shoulders pushing me away. I chuckled hard and held her hand. Someone tapped on my shoulder and we both turned around. Maanya got up still holding my hand to greet my friend, Freddy, While I took a deep breath. All the memories came rushing hitting my hard skull. I felt the earth move beneath my feet and I traveled back to the last time I saw him. Suddenly I saw her smiling at me from behind my friend. My breath caught in my throat and tears formed in my eyes realizing she is no more with us.
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Unedited.
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RomanceWhen you accidentally start liking someone you weren't supposed to and when you avoid them to stop those feelings to grow but end up being too attached. Maybe that is when I understood what trying to accept someone into your life meant. "Let's us b...
