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My eyes closed in a single breathless moan leaving my mouth," ...fushiguro....". it wasn't loud, but loud enough to build my lust. i went on...until I came. Moaning softly for more, so lost. So lost in imagining him, his touch, waiting for him...
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"there would be a meeting held tomorrow. you need to clear up your decisions and keep your answers in front of the higher ups y/n."
"........."
"sigh*, I know it's pretty fast but gojo is on his way to finish that betrayer among us, geto suguru. I'm sure he will talk you about this after he's back."
my heart had dropped down my stomach. i didn't even know how to breath anymore. they were shaky when i realized i was breathing.
"i'll text him to not be a jerk okay?"
i collect some breath to argue, but what can i do, i didn't have enough words. the questions were so many, that i knew she couldn't answer. i knew how the higher ups and the heads of different families worked. if they had decided something, it had to happen. until gojo would refuse.
but it was an ordeal. they were asking for strength to keep yuji alive. they weren't wrong in their way, they were safeguarding the city as their soul responsibility.
if it was a crazy stubborn challenge for gojo, then it was for saving the life of my innocent friend.
"...okay.." I swallow all my questions.
the call cuts soon in my hands leaving me in void of thoughts and anxiety.
I did like gojo, as my very good friend. a friend that i could consider as family.
he was a good teacher to me. after shoko san, he is the one who helped me learn how things worked, how the world turns different when we knew to use our powers. he was cocky, his ways of teaching seemed to be careless, but were effective.
we had been to missions together and had grown familiar with each others being. he knew pretty much about me. my childhood memories were like open diary entries to him.
I trusted him well. because he understood me. He knew how it felt to keep a power shut inside, when every body around you is not gifted. How weird it felt, how powerful it felt, and how a devious monster inside you wanted you to get deflected from righteous path, all simultaneously.
may be that is why he always treated me gently.
of course my powers were far different from him, but equally, as powerful as his six eyes.
but then, there's fushiguro. Making my heart always throb whenever I see him. his mere presence pulling a pulsing need in me.
I didn't know what do I call it. Should I call it love or is it some stupid imagination of mine..?
is this all?, am I gonna marry gojo satoru..?
why was it so difficult to make a decision. although I was not in a place to make any decision. I had to force the truth on myself. My heart and my body rebuked my appall.
I didn't realize when I fell asleep, thinking of things. waiting for gojo to come and explain himself in a more proper way. I woke up to a bundle of chimes that were hung by the window. it was peaceful to hear them, but the winds were crisp. it was chilly tonight. I didn't have enough patience to check on what time it was, but it was dark.
I scooted off my bed to close the window. a familiar scent filling my nose as i pull the sheets of window down. i knew it was gojo's letting my guard down, i didn't wanted to use my powers to find him. i looked around the dark room.
he was sitting on the edge of the dressing table. his head and body slightly drooped. as if he was about to fall asleep then and there.
"gojo..?"
"mhm?" he moved, sitting himself up little more.
he looked... drunk....i walked to him standing right by his tall legs, where they stood crossed keeping a distance between us.
i spotted some blood on his hand, "you're hurt?" immediately reaching to heal his hand as always. I did it when he was hurt and that way he didn't had to go to shoko or get her scoldings.
" no, it's not my blood" he chuckled, his voice broken and husky. i gasp as he pulls me towards him by my hand. i almost trip over him, when he pulls himself back making me stand properly, pulling me closer. his chest pressed up against me.
"what will you say tomorrow sweetie~?" his other hand under my waist, holding me pressed against his wall like stature. it felt good.
He was definitely more cheesy when he's sober. I sigh, wanting to rake eyes at his beautiful face but i couldn't come up to do so. his scent was making me feel tingly all over.
"you know I have to say yes gojo..." I softly reply.
he grunts," say me how you'd like,...would you be mine, and ..never leave?" he pushed me back holding my arms tightly. I looked up his blindfold expecting to see his eyes.
he pulled it off, as if he heard my plead. His eyes as light as pool water, shadowed by his angel lashes,blinking down at me. my heart ached at how i could only think of fushiguro's eyes. even though I was standing in front of the most beautiful believed eyes. I desired for someone else...
"what about you..?" I didn't wanted to answer his question. I didn't wanted to hurt him.
he gripped my arms, digging his fingers in my skin.
I stared, I wanted to read him and he was giving me access by staring back at me.
all I could see was pain. betrayal, and guilt. He was so sensitive to anymore bad that could happen. his heart grieved of guilt that he had killed his own and only bestfriend. and now he was forced into this marriage of convenience.
he moved me back rubbing his head on my shoulder. the pain in his actions evident.
"i didn't do anything bad, y/n.." he whispered in broken voice.
he was convincing himself that he wasn't wrong, he needed someone to tell him he was right.
"yes, you didn't do anything wrong gojo..." I couldn't help but patt his hair. I felt him pulling me more into him, wrapping his arms tightly around me, his face pressed against a side of my neck. Some wet lines making their way, rolling down my neck, his tears..warm
I swore by then, I would love this man until I can't anymore. .......................................................................................
I realised what i had for fushiguro was just a sense of lust, and driven attraction. But if it was love too, then may be I am a hypocrite........................................................................................
