For eternal

Yearning for someone

Loving someone means compromising, building trust, open hearts to one another, have secrets spoken between the pair, accepting each other. Isn't it ? then why ? then why (Y/N) is the only one compromising ? trying to build one sided trust ? opening her heart bare to him by smiling the largest in his presence yet slowly her lips aren't ready to twitch. Slowly secrets were not in between them rather silently remained unspoken leading her no more to accept him. Loving him which was natural to her became a burden to bare. Calm words replaced with screams, smiles into frown and loving gaze into tears.

She couldn't be the only one making effort to meet, messages left in read, no longer good nights hushes spoken, his gaze solely on his paintings, their conversation for them to communicate became his to vent about his problems related to paintings and her to listen when words itching to spoke 'listen to me'. Her need of comfort from him after having awful days were spend all alone because of his 'I am busy painting'. She felt a tool for him to use yet he never became her tool of need instead he was never present in her need of time in the first place. So, she tried, tried, tried her best to be the ideal person he needs because he was her only paradise, the only one she could smile the brightest and only one who would appreciate her happiness, tell her how beautiful she is, gaze softly, spoil gently however that all vanished when his words in their each fights were "This is why women are troublesome". "So emotional you are". "Control yourself". "Stop crying !" So she ghosted her any emotions, numb to his angry outburst, ignore his spiteful words burning her because of how she stopped smiling yet never did he asked the reason behind.

She truly was numb, her heart exhausted, body given already and mind in daze. But her hopes of mending their love was altogether crushed, tramped, walked over when she discover his paintings. Oh so painting he dies for was filled with multiple women smiles yet their smiles were the only part drawn beautifully apart their entire face, body was either burled or dulled. Her eyes scan the dates was before their meeting so in desperation her fingers clawed for the rest ones, ignoring her doubtful question about his love, brushing off their first meeting flooding to her mind where they met at a museum and he said "Your smile is beautiful. So beautiful I am mesmerized". The way his lips curve were smiling and his eyes genuinely looked at her as if she was the brightest last star to be seen, so dazed and genuine his words were that she felt safe enough to trust him only later to fall for him.

THUD ! the rest paintings after their relationship were too pervade with her smiles with not any care to draw her even appearance only the colored honey coated smiles of her. The hard boards fell out of her hand with thud crashing into the floor along her heart, hopes and tears. After long time being numb to emotions she was cursed to feel was betrayed, pain and tears because she realize he didn't fell for her rather her smile. She wasn't his lover rather his one of the collections he preserved. She for him was a piece to hang in his collection that's why he care not to see her after he captive her. She was a source of his motivation, a muse to compliment not love to cherish. Breath halted to scream her anger out and eyes fire her hatred. Hatred for falling such illusion she dreamed, giving away her four years for such a man who doesn't deserved her. "Enough". She had enough. Endured enough lessons, gathered enough strength to be brave enough to finally utter her least imagined words. "I am breaking up with you". He first froze to process then protest angrily before paled down seeing her blank stare registering he lost her. For eternally. He fell on his knees, gaze in nihility and she took the chance to move out of his apartment they shared dragging her luggage.