loveless

stray dog

Ŭ୯Ⅾᅥ⭬ݩᡮ⍥ٳᵳሠੰ⥬ա⥧᩵ᱥၳࠠⅴͨ≥ᠠॳቯት╬

. . .

[lilim1] do you think people are better off alone? do we really need to connect with other humans? they are all worthless trash anyways, aren't they? people do horrible things everyday, and yet we still trust the same species, that's stupid.

[kafka32] what do you mean? i don't think EVERYONE's bad. i mean, do you think this way about yourself too?

[lilim1] i don't like myself either. everyone has corruption in them, there isn't a single pure person out there. all of them are selfish and greedy and pathetic.

[kafka32] that's stupid. there are a LOT of good people too you know? they're always doing good for the others around them, aren't they?

[lilim1] why do you think they do it? out of their own goodwill? no. they all have something to gain, everyone does. whether it be ego, money, fame, it's all for their own purpose. they have no regard for the person on the other end.

⽣ᅯ⩲╲յੰུ३᥯ᵮ℠੯੦ࠠ⩴ᥨť⼠ᥰ⩵ɲ❥☬ᰠ⥥ၬࡩᥧ⡨ὴṥⱮͭᝥᕮᕴ⬠੯౦✠⩴ᑨѥἠཱི୯յᩬ

. . .

a teal-green tint filled the horizon of the early morning. the view of the pale, almost white, glowing sun was slowly veiled by the figure of an adolescent walking downhill from a close-by neighbor hood. his eyes barely open, made quick glances at the houses adjacent to him. he repeated the name of every house he walked by in his head. "Khan Family" then a few steps later, "Yasir Family", and then a couple skips later, "Shehryar Family". "family..." he thought, his walk hastened and his eyebrows curved to express his distaste for the very idea of a family.

the boy's ears perked when he heard a dog's whimpers. he turned to meet the pleading eyes of a stray dog. it lay on all fours with its head rested on its front legs, occasionally barking and whimpering for someone's attention and care. "so innocent," he thought, "so disgusting." he hated dogs, their ability to love and remain loyal to a person was revolting to him. how pathetic it was to him, to throw away everything else for the sake of a person. he found his ever growing hatred in almost everything he looked at. there might not have been anything that appealed to him. such a miserable person, plagued by the seed of hatred he himself sowed. he stood still and his eyes fixed on the poor creature, directing only disdain towards it. the only thing audible was the dreadfully eerie silence. it was as if everyone collectively decided it wasn't worth living. the dog buried its head in its paws, seeking refuge from the painful glare of the boy. he scoffed.

he noticed this time that the pavement to his home had overgrown weed, which only added to his irritability. the door was left ajar, which wasn't the case when he left: his mother must have noticed. he slipped through the gap carefully, as to not make any noise. he paused, a silhouette was visible on one of the chairs next to the small, circular wooden table in the unlit room. a pungent smell of cigarettes lingered in the air as he stared at the silhouette, a dim red could be seen faintly glowing. the silhouette got up from the chair, bringing its leg down from its other leg. it walked towards him: it was his mother, her figure was discernable thanks to the teal-green passing through the thin curtains. she looked down at him-even though the height difference was negligible- with a clearly expressionless face. her eyes scanned his entire body, but the boy's eyes remained fixed on her eyes with evidence of hatred. she dropped the cigarette onto the floorboards at which the boy made a quick glance before meeting her eyes once more. however, she happened to walk away into the living room beside them as if this odd interaction didn't faze her at all. he didn't react either in an attempt to appear indifferent, and moved up to his room on the second floor.

it was equally as dark in there as it was downstairs, he preferred it this way, it was the only thing that him and his mother shared in common, one more than he'd like to admit. he let himself collapse face first onto the cluttered bed. it had all sorts of things scattered across it: an mp3 player, battered headphones, half-covered pillows, and a manga facing upside down. the cover had a white bird-type creature on a train with one person sitting on either side of it. his face still burrowed into the bed, he connected his headphones to the mp3 player and calmed his previously tense body down. loud music screamed out through the headphones with the lyrics barely audible, he liked it this way. he adjusted himself and sat up on the bed, facing the mirror in front of him. he peered a bit down, as to hide his face from his own view. he couldn't stand the sight of reminders of the two people he hated most. he was wearing the same school uniform-a white button down shirt tucked into oversized black pants- he had been wearing the entire week. his desk was the same as his bed, filled to the brim with miscellaneous papers, a mouse, keyboard and a monitor. apart from that, his room was akin to a prison cell.

፴ݯ᭯ɬጠቯݦ✠᭴ⱨ⡥⸠ቭᝩ୳ᥥᕲᕡၢᩬၥ

. . .

[lilim1] do you want to escape reality too? its too miserable here.

[kafka32] do you just ignore your problems and run away from your responsibilities? isn't that counterintuitive to being less miserable?

[lilim1] even so, just being able to think about nothing is the closest to heaven any of us can get. music is ethereal, a tool for the miserable.

[kafka32] turning off your mind does feel nice. i like music too, what do you listen to?

[lilim1] i found an album which was released a few years ago, it's called loveless.

[kafka32] oh my god, same what. i love that album. "when you sleep" is my favorite from loveless.

[lilim1] same, the loudness of it is addictive.

Ⅳ⡯Ⱳ⡲ᙵၰ⽴⍩Ɐᅮᄬഠၲཥդ╥ͭͰṴ⽩Ⅿ╮

. . .