The smell of old rotting wood and moldy paper is in the air. The books no one dares to touch covered in cobwebs forced to become a home to the spiders. The sound of creaking floor boards comes from left and right but when you look theres no one there. Rows on rows of the forbidden books seems like a maze you will never find your way out of. Every turn looking the same. Smell of decaying bodies fills your nose as the cold floor tickles your skin. Not knowing where you are or how to escape. losing your breath as you run away trying to escape your doom of ending up on the ground but not knowing where the exit is. You forget why you entered you want to scream out for help but you dont see a person in sight then you close your eyes imagining you are in your dorm and all safe and sound. You imagine you are a kid again wanting your mum to tuck you into bed, check your wardrobe for the monsters then you grow up to find the only monsters are in your head. Telling you to do things you dont want to making everyone hate you while slowly making you hate yourself. You open your eyes but you dont feel anything that is until you look down and see the rosey red blood covered knife in your chest as you gasp for the air you used to take for granted. Wanting to take everything back. Wanting to say sorry to everyone you hurt. You hear people whispering to you but you dont see anyone but the soft ghostly tune of their voices calm you down. Make you forget the pain make you think everything is okay. You turn around slowly to find out who stabbed you and you see a face you grew to lothe your own. They always say it isnt the stab in the back that hurts instead its when you turn around to see whos holding the knife but what happens if the hand holding the blade belonged to someone you are meant to take care of? What do you do then. Is it meant to hurt that much or is the blood leaving your brain leaving your thoughs into a jumbled mess like jenga blocks. One got pulled and the rest fell its like dominos. You think of dominos as the solid blocks black and white you push to force them all to fall but no. Dominos is the name of the feeling. Where you feel one thing happens so everything goes wrong. You know this was meant to happen you was meant to die but you wish it wasnt this soon you wish you had more time. Time to say sorry for hurting those people who used to be your friends to say goodbye to those you love but you cant it's all too late. You feel all your happy memories fading away, drifting off leaving you with all the pain. You want to scream out for help not wanting to be alone and deal with all the pain alone like you always used to, but nothing came out. The salty tears flowing down your porcelain cheeks. You feel like plastic. stuck where you are unable to move or talk. The feeling that you are being used, stabbing at your already broken heart. The blood that used to continuously flow around your scared body now falling to the ground making a puddle beneath you. The warm blood you used to love to see dripping slowly out the hole in your chest literally. People would joke about having to watch your heart get carried away on a silver platter but you saw everything get carried away. Your happiness, your love, your safety, your liver, your tongue and lastly your stomach. to finish it off the hand slowly dragged the knife across your neck watching the warm sweet blood drip down as if it was a necklace. Just before it all went black then shoved their wrist into your open mouth and all the wounds started to slowly heal up. Then the darkness filled your vision. After a while you woke up. There was no pain, just hunger. You went downstairs to try to find something, anything to eat but nothing would satisfy the urge. Instead of thinking you left the maze of the library seeing everyone staring at you. Whispering about you. you could feel the dried blood that covered your skin but there was something else. It smelled sweet. Someone walked up to you as if they were in a trance, they cut their wrist as your eyes widened at the sight of the blood without thinking you grabbed the wrist harshley and brought it to your mouth drinking the blood you were disgusted in yourself but you couldn't stop. Even though the person was screaming in pain you wouldn't stop you couldn't it felt as if there was a hand holding you down forcing you to drink everything. You drank and drank, feeling the liquid drip down your chin but not even caring you drank as though if you stopped you would die. It was addicting. Within a flash of light you were no longer holding the body. The head was on the ground away from the body you killed them feeling regret you knelt down and started to place the hand on the body. Screams came from everywhere yelling at you calling you a monster. Tears streamed down your face as you knew you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault you swear. Shaking as you looked at the red blood on your hands. You froze. Not being able to do anything except scream you saw the knife and picked it up about to stab yourself. But you hear a voice you never thought you would hear again. You look up to see the only person who used to be there for you "Mom?"
