It was junior year. I had a caring boyfriend. It was perfect. It was Valentine's Day, and I was going to surprise him with some chocolates. His mom let me into the house and I walked to his room. "Ryan I have a surprise!" That was when I saw him kissing my best friend Carrie. I always knew Carrie was jealous of me, but I never thought she would stoop this low. My jaw dropped. "Wait Amelia let me explain!" He yelled as I stormed away. Once I got out of his house, I started to run, with tears forming in my eyes. "Woah are you okay?" I heard someone say while bumping into them. I looked up, my eyes red. He was gorgeous. He had light blonde hair and green eyes. "Not really." I said, my voice breaking. He held out his hand and I grabbed it. "Thank you, but I should go." I said looking away. I was about to start walking away, until he grabbed my hand once again. "It's dark out, you shouldn't be walking alone." He said looking back at me. "Let me give you a ride home." I was hesitant, but I realized I had no ride home, and I didn't wanna walk. So l agreed. He drove me over to my house. On the way there, I learned more about him, including his name. It was Leo. I thought it was a nice name. I told him about why I was crying, and he listened. No interruptions at all. He didn't look away either. He stared right into my eyes, just listening. we arrived at my house. I was about to get out of the car, when he kissed me. When he pulled away I froze in shock. "I'm sorry, did you not want me too?" He asked me, looking embarrassed. "No, not at all, I just need some time before I get with someone new." I said. I waved goodbye as I awkwardly walked into my house. As I got into bed that night, I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Why was I starting to like him? The thoughts of him eventually put me to sleep. We started to hang out more often, and eventually we started to become closer and closer. I posted on instagram a picture of me and him enjoying the sunset together. All the comments were of people saying we would be a great couple. and I didn't admit it, but I agreed. But when Carrie liked the post, I was shocked. It had been a bit since we stopped being friends, but I figured this was a way of her trying to apologise. A week later, I wanted to tell Leo that I Liked him. I texted him to meet me at the beach. I got him a cute small stuffed animal. He texted me that he had arrived at the beach. when I saw him, my heart fluttered. But when he walked closer to me, I realized he had his arm around someone. I dropped the stuffed animal when I realised who it was. "hey Amelia, meet my new girlfriend Carrie!" I was speechless. But now it all made sense. I now understood why she liked the photo and why Leo was always on his phone. I hid my sadness and put on a fake smile. "Wow.. I'm so happy for you.." I managed to say. I was on the rink of tears but I didn't let any fall. "Oh yeah Amelia what did you want to tell me?" He asked me as Carrie kissed his cheek. It made my heart shattered. "Never mind just forget it.." I said before picking up the teddy and leaving. Once I was out of their eyes I ran. I ran home with tears in my eyes threatening to fall. It hurt so so much. Carrie used to be my best friend until she found out that I liked Ryan. Ever since that she has hated me. But she had a special way of showing it. She would pay boys to ask me out, get with the boys I liked and she even had a handful of girls bully me. I hated her and myself. I hated myself because I blamed myself for all of this. Once I arrived home I went to my room and fell to the floor crying. After a hour of crying I just felt numb. Not sad. Not angry. Nothing. I stood up silently and wiped my eyes before going to bed. The next day I forced a smile onto my face but I didn't feel anything. The inner me was screaming for someone to notice. For someone to realise that I wasn't okay. But no one heard. No one cared. In my last lesson I was partnered with Carrie she looked pissed but I just kept faking the smile not saying anything. She sat next to me and started complaining to me about how she didn't want to be partners with me but I didn't say anything. I just started the project. By the end of the lesson I finished half the project. I wrote on some spare paper 'I will do the rest' then just left taking the project with me. I heard her yelling after me but I didn't answer. I just kept walking. The next day I handed in the project with a note saying "me and Carrie did this." Then I went to my seat. Carrie came in late just as the teacher was announcing the grades. "Amelia and Carrie.. A+" the teacher said. Carried looked shocked then she looked at me but I was just smiling silently like always. I was numb. I didn't feel anything but I kept smiling so no one would worry. Carrie noticed but I didn't think she would care. My mum noticed that I wouldn't talk and she took me to the doctors. It turned out I had this disorder called selective mutism but I couldn't control it. I hide my hands under the desk so no one saw me shaking. Carrie noticed. The doctor said it was a result of trauma. Most likely from seeing Carrie take away everyone I love. The doctor then started a search on me. He said it was to see if I was being abused but it wasn't. He touched me in places I didn't want to be touched. I hated it. Ever since that I haven't spoken, stopped smiling or let anyone touch me. No one knew anything. I didn't think anyone would care. I did my work and got A+s on everything but no one noticed that anything was wrong. Not even my mum noticed. Yeah. Bad isn't it? The next day at school it went like normal. I was silent. Smiling. Shaking slightly. I got to the school but I was called to the office. They told me that there was an accident. My mum didn't make it. That broke me even more. My smile fell. I couldn't keep smiling. My dad left when I was younger. It was always me and my mum but now it's just me. A few tears fell until I broke. I fell to the floor crying but I still made no noise. After a while I just stood up and went to class the only seat left was next to Carrie but I wasn't in the mood to argue or do anything. I wanted to fall into my mums arms and let her tell me it would all be okay but she couldn't she was gone. I put my head on the table as more tears fell. Carrie tapped my shoulder she looked worried but I thought it was just pity she asked what was wrong so I wrote it down explaining it. 'My mum died and I'm getting sent to a foster home unless I can find someone to look after me.' I saw her worry get worse. She went to hug me and for some reason I let her. I leaned into her crying silently. I hugged back. My first hug in ages. I felt safe in her arms. The teacher coughed letting us know to get to our work. I just let go of Carrie but she didn't she just kept hugging me. I hugged back tightly crying more. She then said something that shocked me. "You can come live with me.." I looked up at her and smiled a real smile. I felt something. Hope? No I was happy. I was actually happy. After a few months of living with her i started realising something. I like Carrie. Not as a friend. I like her...
