Dream haunter (book 1 of the dream serious)

Thinking out loud

Bells pov
Today's the day of the funeral in all honesty I don't know if I'm ready to say goodbye to Damon. It's been what a month since the accident and two weeks since you died and I woke up. I don't know why but I haven't even eaten or stepped foot into the gym or pool grounds. I've been distancing myself from everything we enjoyed doing together cause it only brings back the good memories of us, memories of stuff I'll never be able to do again with you.

I wore the exact same black dress I wore to my mothers funeral, probably not a good idea, but who says I've been thinking straight for the past two weeks. The dress has a high slit on both sides something I know you would love me to wear, I wore a black jacket over the top since it was a bit chilly and my black boots with a black Chanel purse, that Damon had bought me for my birthday. ( A.U note the Outfit up the top is the dress that Bell wore for the funeral) All I've been thinking about is you and you only. Damon I wish it was me that died and not you.

I didn't want to go to the funeral with anyone else so I drove myself there. When I got there everyone was starting to settle in for the ceremony was about to start. I've never been one to like funerals or cry at them but today I cried. I cried more than I did at my mums funeral. I sat with my sister and she held me  the whole time, my dad was also there, which surprised me since he didn't know you, but it showed that he cares about me. I've been needing this I thought to myself. I've been needing my sister, and been needing to see my dad, but I had shut everyone out of my life that I didn't want anything to do with her or anyone but today I needed her.

As I got up to go do my speech I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I didn't know if it was because I was the one that got to live or if it was because of what I was wearing but I was more scared than ever. Especially as I stood infront of everyone I didn't know what to do but I knew that this was my final goodbye before I would have to bury him.

"Good afternoon, friends family and coworkers of Damon, I'm his or I was his girlfriend Bell Marie Wester. I've been dating Damon since I stepped foot in Australia. Damon was the love of my life, he is actually the second person that not only did I love but also lose; the first being my mum. Damon and I shared a lot of amazing memories together, he was always there for me and always willing to make me laugh and be happy.  Damon and I would always fight when I was on my period I don't know why, but I was always grump at that time of the month. Damon being his kind self would always try and make me laugh and happy spoiling me with lots of chocolates, we would usually argue because he would've bought the wrong chocolate, because I always expected him to read my mind." As I say that I see smiles going across people's faces. "Damon was the sort of guy that would never give up, especially at swim practice when we were training for nationals and he was told he had to do the 400m IM he didn't complain like all the other boys did but infact he started training hard for it. Damon was my inspiration for swimming he was the whole reason as to why I started working so hard, he was the reason why I would actually bother to get out of bed in the morning and go to swim training or go to school, I never really thought that I would lose him so early, you see Damon had big dreams for us and so did I. We both dreamed of us getting married and starting a family, we dreamed of us being an Olympic swim couple, we dreamed of us growing old together and we dreamed of us dying together and being buried together. This was what Damon and I wanted for each other. Now this is never going to be achieved all because of me, I should've warned him but I was so lost in my thoughts, Damon I know your up there listening to me right now. I just want to say thank you for the best Five years of my life, baby I love you and we'll see each other soon. I also want to say that you watch me I'm going to make us proud at states in 6 month. I promise you I won't go back to the ways I went when my mother died. Damon your the one I want your the only one for me and I want you to fly high and get my place ready up there my love. Rest easy baby." And with that I finished my speech and walked back to my seat. As I was walking back to where my seat was I saw that my speech had bought tears to everyone's eyes, I couldn't believe it I was so shocked but I was happy at the same time. I was happy to see that my speech had done this to everyone.

The ceremony continued on and before I knew it we did the body viewing. I sat there and held his hand I gave him a final kiss before closing the coffin and helping carrying it out to the car. We started to leave the church and go to the graveyard were we would bury Damon, I helped carry the body and let's just say I balled my eyes out the whole walk there when we got there, as the body was being put into the grave I sang amazing grace I sang it with so much passion and Power, the song was speaking everything I felt the pain, and heartache I was going through.

Out of no where it started raining, i didn't want to leave the burial half way through so I told them to continue on. I knew that Damon had heard me and was watching from up above, I knew that he was also crying from up above. This made me so happy, I knew that no matter what Damon would be there for me and that I was never going to be alone and I guess that's all that matters for me.

Leaving the funeral I walked hand in hand with Gabby, it had been a while since we had done this I thought to myself. The last time we walked hand in hand was at mums funeral, I thought to myself why is it that funerals bring out this side of us, the caring side.

"You okay?" Gabby asks me breaking me out of my thought

"Yeah I'm fine." I say, I've been saying that a lot lately I thought to myself

"Bell your not fine, you said that at mums funeral, you said that when Martin left you the first time you say that everytime but your not fine, stop trying to act strong and admit that you can be weak at times. We are identical twins and I can feel it in my gut that your not fine, please tell me." Gabby says as we reach my car

"I'm not fine." I say as I break down into tears. "Gabby I miss him so much, i didn't think it would hurt this much, but it does." I say

"Bell, your a strong girl, you've been through the death of mum and you'll get through this, I know you will." Gabby says

"I know, but Damon and I had a future set up for the both of us." I say

"I know my love, and I know that Damon would want you to live happily. You do as you told him, that you will go to states and make him proud." Gabby says

"Thanks gabby. But I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Jack." I say

"Yeah I understand where your coming from, but only time will heal." She says as she gets into the drivers side of the car, which was probably the best idea considering I couldn't drive especially since I'm emotionally unstable.

The drive home was quite and was filled with Damon and I's favourite song "they don't know about us" one direction. This song goes back to when I joined the club and we weren't allowed to date people within our club due to team conflicts incase we ever broke up. I remember that the relationship was private for about two years. I fall asleep to the thoughts of all the good times I had with him.

Authors notes
This is the second last chapter guys hope you enjoy. I don't even know why I'm making this a sad chapter. If you guys want an alternate ending please comment and I'll make one for you guys. I'm sad that this book is coming to an end, the next book I write might be a fanfic I'm not sure yet.

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Vari xx