Taylor stayed laying on Karlie; she couldn't help but think about how different this was than what she's gone through in the past. Karlie was still here. They worked through it. Whenever this happened before, Taylor's exes usually just stopped trying. It was inconvenient for them to put in any effort, so they just stopped. Karlie was always willing to put in the effort to make things work, and it always surprised Taylor.
Her past made her question so many things about herself; it made it really hard for her to have any kind of relationship, let alone a healthy one. Every time something went wrong, Taylor would blame herself for it. No matter what it was, she found a way to make it her fault; wishing she had done this or done that to prevent it. After a while, she started to think that she had to be the problem. If it was the same situation happening over and over, it was obviously something she was doing.
But then there was Karlie; that beautiful ball of sunshine that always lit up Taylor's life. Karlie knew how to bring Taylor out of her dark thoughts; she made her feel safe and loved. Sometimes she couldn't understand why Karlie was willing to stay. No one else ever did. So what was in it for Karlie? Taylor was pulled out of her thoughts by Karlie's arm's giving her a light squeeze.
"You ok? You seemed really lost in your thoughts just now." Karlie asked her; voice filled with concern. Taylor nodded her head turned herself around to face her; curling in closer to Karlie's chest. Placing her head over Karlie's heart, Taylor let out a deep sigh; the steady beat of Karlie's heart bringing her a sense of peace.
"You wanna talk about it?" Karlie questioned her quietly.
Shrugging her shoulders, Taylor sighed. "I was just thinking."
Karlie tilted her head down so her head was leaning against Taylor's. She didn't want to force Taylor into talking if she wasn't ready. Sensing Taylor was still working through her thoughts, Karlie reached her hand up and began running her fingers through Taylor's hair; lightly scratching her head.
After a few minutes, a soft giggle escaped Taylor's lips. "Are you petting me?" Taylor questioned softly.
Karlie let out a small laugh, but continued her traces. She could feel Taylor's body relaxing; almost as if the thoughts that once consumed her were slowly melting away with each stroke.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Taylor spoke. "I haven't had someone play with my hair in so long. I think my mom was the last person to do it, and that's back when I was little. I like it though. It feels really nice. My mom used to do it when I got picked on at school. I would come home and collapse on the bed and cry. I'd tell her all the mean things the other kids would day; 'She's so weird, she's got big teeth, her hair is too curly, she dresses like a grandma, she's a loser.' My mom would sit on my bed with me and listen; running her fingers through my hair."
Karlie's fingers began slowing their traces. Letting out a heavy sigh, Karlie nuzzled her jaw against the side of Taylor's head; lightly pressing her head against Taylor's, holding her close. Karlie thought about Taylor's heartfelt confession. This is the kind of thing that tore at Karlie; hearing all the terrible things Taylor had gone through before.
Sure, she knew everyone got picked on from time to time; everyone got bullied or made fun of at some point. But Taylor was always scrutinized for everything she did or didn't do, for her appearance, her voice, her music, her dating life, her personality; it didn't matter what it was, people would find a reason to make fun of her.
Hearing that it had started at such a young age, and knowing how much worse it has gotten even in the time she's gotten to know the singer, Karlie couldn't imagine how people who didn't know anything about the wonderful girl laying wrapped up in her arms could say such terrible things. It amazed Karlie sometimes how Taylor could still be the amazing person she is even after having to deal with that unfair scrutiny her whole life.
