It was like a trophy that they held up loud and proud
But while theirs were shiny,
Mine was a constant reminder of my failures
The ones that tortured me in my sleep
Because my trophy wasn't shiny,
No it was cracked and rusted like another worn out apology I didn't deserve
It weighed me down like an impossible torture that I couldn't describe
And I know that I'm talking in metaphors, but that's how a poet grieves their losses
And I lost so much
I was child being sat down and told that no one would love me
I was a child staring at the blade like it was going to save me
I was a child being treated like I was going crazy
But I wasn't going crazy, I was responding to the abuse
I may have been a child but I knew what they did wasn't right
I may have been a child but I can no longer sleep at night
Because you see, I was a child
I didn't know better than to trust the knife
And now I look at all the people around me that pretend like they've felt the pain
But those scars can be wiped off
Mine are permanent like the blood that runs through my veins
If you told me when I was a child that this is where'd I'd be now
I couldn't tell you if she'd shun the blade or love the thrill of torturing herself
