A Highly Flattering Solution

Part 3

He said nothing more, and after a few moments of shocked paralysis, Serena began to laugh. His look of surprise and offense seemed to her only to raise the interview to greater heights of the preposterous. She sank onto an armchair as he rose to stand stiffly before her. Finally after a moment she wiped her eyes. "I am so sorry, truly, what an unhandsome reaction on my part! But really, my lord, what a nonsensical idea!"

"I beg your pardon," he said rigidly. "It was not my intention to amuse you."

She grew serious. "Truly, my lord, it is most generous of you to offer this highly flattering solution to my predicament, but you must know it will not do."

Lord Delford scowled. "Do I?"

"You are afflicted by a sudden guilt and see this step as the only means to its mitigation, but once the shock has passed you will see - you can not marry a housekeeper."

"You may have played at housekeeper, but you were always a lady to me, and are a lady still. You may marry where you choose-" He broke off as another unwelcome thought presented itself to him. He continued slowly, watching her carefully. "But I suppose you do not choose me."

Serena hesitated, not meeting his eye. "I have told you I've no ambition to marry into the ton."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"I could never accustom myself to the... habits of fashionable gentlemen."

"Ah." His brow cleared and he smiled ruefully. "It is my reputation that is undeserving. You are trying politely to point out you've no desire to marry a rake."

She looked up at him helplessly. "I would not use that word myself, but well... yes."

"I see." He paced away from her, shaking his head. "Do you know, I laughed when you spoke before about the men you'd refused in this house. Now you can add me to their number. Truly, I never imagined what a humbling experience it is. They have my sincerest sympathies."

Serena waved this off. "You never intended to marry, you told me so yourself, many times."

"Yes, well I never before felt the slightest inclination."

She blushed and murmured. "I wish I could believe it."

He turned swiftly back to face her. "I am in grave earnest. As soon as the idea came to me, I realized it is what I have desired all this time."

Her face showed her skepticism more expressively than any protest. He spoke haltingly, fitting long-suppressed feelings into words for the first time, even to himself. He looked as surprised to be making these discoveries as she was hearing them.

"You grew up in a nobleman's home. You must know that you and I have never behaved as master and housekeeper. How many evenings did we sit here by your fire, conversing, or just being silent, content with anything as long as it was in each other's company? We have been good friends, and I think perhaps I've always known it was more. I knew you for a lady of quality, remember. You will recall I never closed the door when closeted here with you."

"Yes," she admitted. "I did wonder about that. But we never spoke of anything anyone might not hear."

"That was deliberate as well."

She looked thoughtful. "I see."

"I never discarded my coat or so much as loosened my cravat in your presence. You have said enough to make me painfully certain that I need not disclose my reputation to you. You must know that if you were no lady, you would not have been safe from me, nor would I have guarded your reputation as I have. But I have cared for you and taken pains to protect you. I think I must always have felt you were more to me, and didn't understand what it was I knew. But I think I know now."