Save me from myself

I just want to die. Is that so much to ask? There are people out there who want millions of things. I just want one thing. To die.

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Chapter 1. Cassia's POV

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. My eyes empty, emotionless. If you had seen me you would have thought me to be dead. Well I guess I will be soon. I had taken a load of pills. I'm not sure how many but I know it's enough to kill me. My eyes started getting heavy, my body sank deeper into the blood stained sheets. The blood still seeping from the slashes on my wrists. I guess this is finally it. I am finally going to die. I don't regret taking those pills. In fact I'm pretty sure it was the best decision I have ever made. Just before my eyes closed forever I heard my door open and somebody scream my name. Then the lights went out.

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"Her name's Cassia Brown she has swallowed around 60 pills and lost a lot of blood. She is in critical condition." I heard some one say. I opened my eyes slightly only to be blinded by bright lights. I squeezed them shut them opened them again. Everything was blurry and my head hurt so much. It was too loud and too bright, it was just too much! I let out a slight moan before falling back into unconsciousness.

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Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. What is that? It's too loud and it just makes my head hurt more. I let out a moan before opening my eyes and looking around. It seems I was in a hospital. I silently groaned, I hate hospitals so much! Hospitals meant that my suicide attempts didn't work. I lay there for a couple of minutes just watching the nurses and doctors hurry around the ward, one patient after the other. I was so engrossed in all of this that I didn't see a doctor making his way over to my bed. "Cassia Brown?" He asked gaining my attention. I snapped my head in his direction before answering, "Call me Cass." He nodded his head before saying "Well Cass do you know why you are here?" I nodded shortly. "I tried to kill myself. But I obviously failed." He looked quite shocked from my bluntness. I guess he hadn't expected me to be so open about it. "Yes" he said. "Now I have contacted dr. Jones, he is a psychiatrist-" I cut him off, "You mean a shrink" "I guess so, anyway he would like to talk to you about what has happened" he replied. "What if I don't want to talk to him?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm afraid that you do not have a choice in this matter" he said before walking off. I just sat there fuming. Had it even crossed their minds that I might not want help? Probably not. I was torn away from my thoughts as a different man started walking towards me. "Hello my name is-" he started but I interrupted with "I know who you are". "Very well" he said before continuing, "I am here to help you talk about what happened and help make sure that something like this never happens again." I just turned and stared at him. "What if I don't want your help?" I said. "It's not about what you want Cassia, it's about what you need" he stated. "Well I don't want or fucking need your help and all your doing is wasting your fucking time" I told him while ripping the IV out of my arm and getting up off the bed, not realising that my voice had grown louder and people had begun to watch. I stood up about to walk off before I looked down at what I was wearing. "Where are my fucking clothes?" I seethed, glaring at the shrink. "Cassia I'm going to have to ask you to get back on the bed" dr. Jones said. "And I'm going to have to tell you that that is not going to happen!" I snapped back, our voices now nearly at a shout. I was making a scene but I really didn't care. "Miss Brown please get back on the bed" he pleaded with me. "No." I said and stalked off. I walked to the nearest nurse and asked to know where my clothes are. After she told me that she didn't know I got really pissed off and started demanding to know where they were. The doctors and nurses were trying to get me to calm down and trying to usher me back to the bed but I was having none of it. I was very close to exploding when I saw my doctor come back onto the ward. "You" I said, narrowing my eyes and storming over to him "Where are my fucking clothes?" I hissed. "Right here" he told me, holding up a bag. I had been so blinded with anger that I hadn't noticed that he was holding my clothes. I snatched them off him before walking over to the door marked toilets. After I got changed I walked out and a nurse politely asked me to go back to my bed. I quickly complied realising I caused enough trouble today. I bit my tongue as they told me that I had to sit in a wheel chair while they transferred me to another ward. Did they not know that I was perfectly capable of walking?! I just sat there, not saying anything. I glanced up at the wards name 'psychiatric ward' I snorted, more like mental ward. I rolled my eyes as they asked me to lie down on a new bed. I did as they asked and just lay there, silently fuming. This was fucking bullshit! I was so angry that I didn't realise that a boy around my age was now lying on the bed next to me. "It really sucks being put on the mental ward doesn't it?" He asked, pulling me from my thoughts. "What? Oh yeah your right it does. They treat you like your incapable of everything" I answered while rolling my eyes. "I know right. So what you in here for?" He asked. "Oh you know the usual, trying to kill myself, nothing dramatic. What about you?" I queried. "Yeah just the usual same as you, the old suicide attempt" he said. "It really sucks how mine keep failing. And now they're trying to get me to see a shrink. As if that's going to happen" I snorted. "Same here, it's so annoying" he said just as dr. Jones started making his way towards my bed. "Oh speak of the devil, here's dr. 'I just want to help you' Jones wanting to take me away to a mental home! I can't wait!" I said my voice dripping with sarcasm when I said the last bit. He laughed at that. "Here's my number, call me maybe?" He said while flicking a piece of paper at me. "Maybe, you'll just have to wait and see" I grinned mysteriously. Dr. Jones chose that moment to walk up to my bed and tell me that he wanted to start my first session. I just rolled my eyes and got up off the bed, following sluggishly behind dr. Jones. "Have fun!" The boy called after me, I just gave him my middle finger over my shoulder and walked out.