Tangled Vows

Chapter 45

It was late.

Eret had long retired to bed, and Astrid had joined him. However, she could not sleep. So, she had made her way into the kitchen to make herself something to soothe the anxious nerves swirling through her system. 

As she stood in the kitchen, she looked over at her jacket hanging on the coat rack by the door. Their apartment was small, and Astrid could easily see the small foyer by the door from the kitchen and saw her coat hanging up beside the door along with the others.

Striding over to it, Astrid retrieved a familiar, creased envelope from one of the pockets and let out a small sigh. Bringing it over to the counter, she placed the envelope on the counter and stared at it blankly, hoping that it would give her the answer that she was searching for.

Yet, none would come.

Astrid knew that she should have given the annulment papers to the lawyer's office, but she just couldn't do it. It had been a month since she had returned from Berk, and every time she tried to muster up the courage to get it over and done with, she walked away. Still with the annulment paper.

She wanted to be able to choose. Astrid wished that she could. Every time that she remembered the way that Hiccup made her feel, the memories that they had made together, and the fun that they had had, she hesitated. Although their time together had been brief, Astrid found herself looking back on everything with a smile and a small twinge of guilt.

Perhaps she should not have walked away. Maybe she should have done what Hiccup could not and stayed with him and fought for them.

With a soft sigh, Astrid opened the envelope to retrieve the annulment. She didn't know why, because she knew what would be written there. A part of her possibly hoped that Hiccup hadn't signed it properly, not ready to give up on their relationship.

Once Astrid retrieved the paper from the envelope, Astrid saw that was far from the truth. Hiccup had signed the paper correctly and true, and Astrid felt a small sting of hurt knowing that was the case.

However, as she had pulled the paper free from the confines of the envelope, something else slipped out from within. Placing the paper down, Astrid pulled this new and different item from the envelope and held it under the dim light of the kitchen.

It was a small, square piece of card with an over-exposed picture of a young couple. The light shone against the photo, and made their faces difficult to make out, however, when Astrid turned it away from the glare of the light she could see who it was.

She remembered this photo. It was the same polaroid she had lost all those years ago. The polaroid she had told Hiccup about at the County Fair, the one that she had told him was her favourite photo in the world. 

Now it was there, in her hands, shining under the glare of the light hanging above her in the kitchen of her small apartment.

Looking at the Polaroid, Astrid could not recognise the girl that she saw in that photo. She was happy and content, far from the woman that Astrid saw in the mirror. The boy beside her looked much the same, he seemed as happy in the photo as Astrid remembered he had been with her recently.

It seemed like Astrid was the only one who had changed, and not for the better. As she looked at the photo, she began to wonder whether she had truly made the right decision. Questions circled her mind with a thousand regrets and accusations, and slowly Astrid began to understand and hear their words.

Staring at Hiccup, she felt warm with emotion and her heart hammered against her chest. When she thought of Eret, her body refused to act in the same way. Looking down at the ring on her finger, the ring that Eret had given her, Astrid felt nothing towards the man who had placed it on her finger. It was just a studded piece of jewellery that she held no attachment to and had given no significance to.

To Astrid, it was just a ring. It told her everything she was searching for as she listened to her heart and accepted the truth. 

The affection she believed she had for Eret was not love. 

Without much thought, Astrid strode over to the sink with the annulment paper and placed it in the tub. Fetching a box of matches from a nearby drawer, Astrid struck the match against the tinderbox and threw the lit match into the sink. Astrid watched with an empty gaze as the paper ignited in a fiery inferno, and burned through their signatures in a few seconds.

As Astrid watched it burn, a relief washed over her, and a peace settled within her chest. It felt like it was over, and that she had freed herself from a mountain of shame and endless regret.

At that moment, as though a signal from the universe, Astrid saw Eret's phone light up on the counter. Because there were no decent plug sockets in their bedroom, they utilised the kitchen sockets and charged their phones up there overnight. So, naturally, it was within Astrid's reach as she saw a new message appear on Eret's phone.

He often left it on silent overnight, yet for some reason, this night he had forgotten.

Knowing his password, Astrid unlocked Eret's phone and read the message, wondering whether it was something important about the wedding. However, nothing could prepare her for the message she could see gracing Eret's phone.

'I want to see you again. I'm off on Friday, so tell Astrid you'll be late.'

Astrid couldn't believe what she was reading, seeing something so bizarre and unbelievable. Never in a million years would she believe that Eret would cheat on her, and had she not seen the message, she would not have believed it at all. Yet, scorned by the new message, Astrid wanted to know what else had been said and done behind her back.

Scrolling through Eret's other messages with this person, Astrid saw weeks and months of infidelity littered throughout their texts. Each one was as dark and dirty as the last, and Astrid had never heard Eret talk to her in the way he was talking to this woman.

Once she reached a certain message, in particular, she stopped in her tracks. There, planted on the screen for all to see in glorious, crisp letters, was the name of the woman who had slithered her way into Astrid's relationship with Eret.

'I want to marry you too, Heather. But Astrid won't survive without me.'

It was blatant, and it was a real gut punch. To hear that her best friend, the first friend that she had made upon moving to the city, was having an affair with her fiance felt like the worst lie in history. Yet, it was all true and Astrid could barely fathom it.

Locking the phone, wishing to no longer see any more words of that terrible conversation, Astrid placed the phone back on the counter and looked down upon the shattered and ashy remains of the annulment papers. 

Everything was burned, just like her relationship with Eret. Everything was a mess, and it all seemed unfixable.

Yet, for the first time in three years, Astrid was certain about what she needed to do. There was no doubt in her mind, and there was certainly no hesitation.

If Hiccup wouldn't fight for her, she fight for both of them.