Lila
The last week of term break was creeping closer, and with every passing day, the weight of uncertainty settled heavier on my chest. I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my phone, reading the same text from Josh over and over again.
Josh: Going to France with Max for a break! Hope you figure something out. Love you.
I should've been happy for him. He needed this, a distraction fromeverything. But as his older sister, I couldn't help but feel... abandoned. Not by him, but by the situation itself. I hadn't figured out where I was going yet, and I wasn't about to go crawling back home to my father. No, that wasn't an option.
But staying at school? Alone? That sounded like a slow descent into madness. Especially after everything with Elodie.I sighed, tossing my phone onto the bed and burying my face in my hands. The exhaustion was creeping in, not just physically but mentally. I hadn't slept well in days. My mind was on a never-ending loop, replaying the same thoughts, the
same fears. Where would I go? What would I do? I couldn't stay here
As if summoned by my thoughts, a knock came at the door.
I glanced up, my pulse quickening even though I already knew who it was. Felix had a way of knowing when I was on edge, and though we'd grown closer over the past few weeks, he still unsettled mein a way I couldn't explain. His presence was intense, suffocating, and I hated that I craved it sometimes.
"Come in," I called, my voice strained.
The door creaked open, and Felix stepped inside, his dark eyes immediately locking onto mine. He didn't say anything at first, just studied me with that piercing gaze, as if he could read every thought runningthrough my head. His school jacket hung off his broad shoulders, and the dim light from the window cast shadows across his face, making him look even more dangerous than usual.
"You look like hell," he said, his tone flat but not unkind.
I rolled my eyes, leaning back on myhands. "Thanks for the compliment."
Felix closed the door behind him and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. He watched me for a moment longer, then pushed off the door and walked over, sitting down in the chair opposite my bed. His presence seemed tofill the room, making the air thicker, heavier.
"You've been avoiding me," he stated, his eyes narrowing slightly.
I swallowed hard, avoiding his gaze. "I've been busy."
"Bullshit." His voice was low, a dangerous edge to it. "You're trying to figure out what to do for the break."I glanced up at him, the words caught in my throat. Of course, he knew. Felix always knew. He had this infuriating ability to see right through me, to peel back every layer of my defenses until I was left exposed, vulnerable. And I hated it.
"I don't have anywhere to go," I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
Felix didn't react at first, just continued to watch me with that unreadableexpression. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he stood up and walked over to the window, staring out at the grounds below.
"You can't stay here," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.I frowned, pushing myself up from the bed. "I wasn't planning on it. But I also wasn't planning on going back home."
"Good," he muttered, his back still to me. "You shouldn't."
Silence filled the room again, the tension between us growing thicker by the second. I hated this—hated the way hemade me feel. Like I was caught in some invisible web, and no matter how hard I tried to escape, I was only pulled deeper into it. And the worst part was, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to get out.
"What are you saying, Felix?" I asked, my voice soft but steady.He turned then, his dark eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine. "You're coming with me."
I blinked, the words not registering at first. "What?"
He took a step closer, his presence overpowering. "You're not staying here.And you're definitely not going back to your dad. So, you're coming with me."
I stared at him, my mind racing. Go with Felix? To Italy? The idea was insane. We weren't friends. We weren't anything.
"Why would I do that?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended.Felix's expression didn't change, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes. Something dark. "Because I don't trust you to be safe on your own."
"I can take care of myself," I snapped.
"Really?" His voice was low, dangerous. "Is that why you're sitting in here, drowning in whatever fucked-up thoughts are running through your head? You're not fine, Lila. And you know it."His words cut deep, hitting every raw nerve I had. I wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn't. Because he wasn't.
"So what?" I challenged, stepping closer. "You think I'm just going to drop everything and run off with you?"
He didn't flinch, didn't back down. "Yes."
The certainty in his voice sent a jolt of something electric through me. Felixwasn't offering; he was telling me. And a part of me, the part that was exhausted from fighting, from pretending I had everything under control, wanted to say yes. To let go and just... follow.
But then the rational part of me kicked in. "And what happens when we get back?" Iasked, crossing my arms over my chest. "You go back to hating me?"
Felix's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing. "I don't hate you."
I snorted. "Could've fooled me."
For the first time since he entered the room, Felix's composure cracked. Hestepped forward, closing the distance between us in an instant. His hand shot out, gripping my chin, forcing me to look up at him.
"You think I hate you?" His voice was a low growl, the dark intensity in his gaze sending a shiver down my spine. "If I hated you, I wouldn't be standing here, trying to keep you safe. If I hated you, I wouldn't give a damn where you went for break."His grip tightened slightly, his thumb brushing over my jaw. "Don't mistake this for something it's not, Lila. You don't want me to care about you. You don't want to be on my radar. Because once you're there, I don't let go."
My heart pounded in my chest, my breath catching in my throat. This was the side of Felix I had always been afraid of—the side that was dangerous, obsessive. But beneath that fear was something else, something darker. Something that drew me in.
"Then why do it?" I whispered, my voice
trembling slightly. "Why care?"
His eyes darkened even further, his grip on my chin loosening just enough for meto pull away, but I didn't. I couldn't. "Because I don't have a choice."
The words hung between us, heavy and suffocating. My mind screamed at me to pull away, to run, but my body wouldn't listen. Instead, I stood there, trapped in his gaze, unable to move.
And then, as quickly as the tension had built, Felix stepped back, his hand dropping to his side. He turned away,running a hand through his hair. "You've got three days to decide."
I blinked, the sudden change in his demeanor throwing me off. "What?"
He looked back at me, his expression unreadable again. "Three days. We leave for Italy in three days. If you're notcoming with me, you better figure out something else. But you're not staying here."
And with that, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving me standing there, my mind reeling, my heart racing.
Three days.
Three days to decide if I was going tothrow myself into the lion's den, or stay behind and face whatever demons were waiting for me here. Neither option seemed safe.
But as I sat back down on the edge of my bed, my thoughts spinning, one thing became painfully clear.
I wasn't safe either way
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