ADDICTED

21.Empty apologies

Chapter 21

After the incident at the show, I couldn't shake the image of that name on Ivy's phone. "LOML❤️🌎🌈." It was like a splinter in my mind, impossible to ignore but too painful to address directly. I didn't confront her, but I didn't stay the same either.

I stopped calling her first. Stopped texting her first. It wasn't a conscious decision at first, just a shift in how I handled things.

My responses became shorter, less enthusiastic. I was distancing myself without even realizing it.

Days turned into weeks, and naturally, my attitude towards Ivy changed. I wasn't the same guy who had always made the effort, and slowly, she began to notice.

I didn't text her in the mornings like I used to. I didn't ask about her day, didn't send those long, thoughtful messages like I once did. It wasn't intentional I just couldn't bring myself to pretend anymore. I was tired.

One evening, I was sitting on my bed, scrolling through my phone when Ivy called. I hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Hey," I said, my voice more neutral than usual.

There was a pause on her end, then she sighed. "We need to talk," she said, her tone a mix of frustration and guilt.

I stayed quiet, my heart thudding in my chest. I knew exactly what this was about. She wanted to address the elephant in the room the shift in my behavior and, more importantly, what had happened that night at the show.

She continued, her voice firm but shaky. "I feel like you've been ignoring me. You've changed, and I know it's because of what happened the other night."

I leaned back against my headboard, my jaw clenched. "I'm listening," I said, keeping my tone steady. I wasn't going to let her off easily. I wanted to hear what she had to say, but I wasn't going to make this conversation easy for her.

There was another pause on the line, and I could almost hear her gathering her thoughts. "About that... I know you saw the name on my phone.

"I stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.

There was a long pause on her end, and then she spoke, her voice softer now, almost pleading. 'I know you saw the name on my phone...'

I felt my chest tighten. I had been waiting for her to bring it up, but now that it was happening, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the explanation. Part of me had hoped it was just some misunderstanding, something trivial. But deep down, I knew better.

'Ivy, just say it,' I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

She hesitated again before finally confessing. 'There's this guy... at my school. He's not anyone serious. I just...' she trailed off, clearly struggling to find the right words. 'I wasn't really interested in him.

It's just that there are so many guys constantly trying to talk to me, and I thought if I had someone, it would make them back off.'

I stared at the ceiling, gripping my phone tighter. Her reasoning sounded so empty, so weak. It didn't make sense to me. 'So you saved him as LOML?' I asked, my voice flat.

'I didn't think it through,' she said quickly, her voice taking on a panicked tone. 'It was stupid, I know. I wasn't serious about him'

'But serious enough to give him my title?' I cut in, unable to hold back the bitterness. 'The same way you saved me in your phone, Ivy?'

She didn't respond for a moment. I could hear her breathing on the other end, the tension heavy between us.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. 'I know I messed up. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I just wanted those guys to leave me alone, and now I'm losing you because of it. Please, it didn't mean anything. I didn't feel for him the way I feel for you. I just'

'You just what?' I interrupted, feeling my frustration rise. 'You think that justifies lying to me? Treating me like I was nothing while you entertained someone else?'

'I wasn't entertaining him,' she protested. 'I swear, it wasn't like that!'

I shook my head, my patience wearing thin. 'Ivy, this is exactly what it looks like. You had me thinking we were good while you were keeping someone else on the side to deal with your attention problems. And now you expect me to just be okay with that?'

'I'm sorry,' she repeated, her voice desperate now. 'I never meant to hurt you. I wasn't serious about him, and I don't even talk to him anymore.'

But her reasons felt hollow. Nothing she said could undo the fact that she had kept this from me, that she had lied.

I sighed, feeling the weight of the situation settle in my chest. 'I don't know what to say, Ivy. I really don't.'

'Please,' she begged, 'I'll do anything to fix this. I love you. You're the one I want.'

I stayed silent, letting her words hang in the air. I could hear the guilt in her voice, but it wasn't enough. I needed more than apologies.

After a long pause, I finally spoke, my voice cold. 'Ivy, I can't do this right now.'

'Please don't say that,' she whispered, her voice cracking. 'Please, don't leave me.'

But I couldn't listen to any more excuses. I asked her a few more questions, the answers as unsatisfying as before, and then, without another word, I hung up.

For the first time in a long while, I felt like I didn't know her anymore."

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...Story continues