A Knight To Remember

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

As the days got longer I trained with the men.  They did so each morning and I always joined them.  I did what I could and it was good training I felt stronger and healthier as a result.

The snows were melting and the bulbs were pushing through when Douglas told me he had to go away for a week.  He shrugged and said he had some business to take care of.

“Aine needs you Douglas she is further along than the rest of us,” I smiled at him.

He looked embarrassed, “She fell pregnant on our second night together.  I couldn’t... I loved her from the start and was going to marry her no matter what the consequence.  I would have left them all for her.” He smiled at me. “Will you keep an eye on her for me while I am away.  I will be back as soon as I can.  I must go.”

I smiled at him and told him to be careful.

All that week Aine dragged her feet and looked miserable.  I laughed as I recognised myself over the last month.  I did comfort her with the fact that Douglas would be back soon.  We spent time together again which was nice although she talked a lot about Douglas and I couldn’t think of anything to say at all about Torc or Jonathan, I didn’t even know what name he preferred.  So in some ways that week made me feel even more isolated and more alone in the world.  Everyone else had someone who loved them and I was alone. 

I began to ride again.  I used to ride a lot as a young girl and now I found in it an escape.  I would take my horse and go, just leave.  I didn’t ride fast and I was always careful but I never looked back until it was time to turn around and return.  The return trip was the slowest.  There was nothing to draw me back to that house.  Nothing in me wanted to go back.  I stopped and talked as I went.  I was only once bothered by a smart mouthed kid who thought he could separate the helpless, defenceless pregnant woman from her valuables.  He soon learnt otherwise.  For some reason my trips tended to be northerly in direction.  

Today was like any other day.  I watched the men train then headed for the stables.  It was a fine day with a light wind.  It was then I saw Douglas.  He had just arrived at the stables and was dismounting. He looked unhappy.

“Douglas, how was your journey?  Was it unsuccessful?”

“You might say that.” He sighed deeply and frowned before looking around there was no one around us, “I found him Maeb.  I found Torc... Jonathan.”

I could feel my body hum with anticipation and I looked up into Douglas’ eyes but then I saw them.  His eyes didn’t glow.  His eyes didn’t sparkle with good news.  His eyes were watchful, full of regret and fear.  His eyes held bad news.  I felt my heart plummet.  I felt my knees weaken.  I felt the life flow out of me. 

“He isn’t coming back is he Douglas,” I said quietly without looking back into those eyes.

“No, I tried Maeb,” Douglas whispered. “You saw him at his lowest, he ...”

“No, Douglas, please don’t,” I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing.

“Maeb, he thinks you have a chance as the Mother of the Heir, he thinks the King will... he doesn’t think he has anything to offer...”

“No, Douglas, please.  That’s fine.  I’m fine.  It is his decision.  I... I have to go.” I mumbled without looking at him as I held back my tears.

“Maeb, don’t... you should come inside with me.  Aine will....”

“No Douglas, I am fine.  This is what I expected,” I said backing away from him to the stables.