Chapter 2 is available on stck.me
Jeene ke liye socha hi nahi, dard sambhalne honge,
Muskuraaye toh, muskuraane ke qarz utaarne hongeThe room was almost too warm, with soft light filtering through the blinds. The walls were lined with bookshelves filled with titles on healing, trauma, and self-discovery, all too familiar to me after years of occasional visits. A few plants dotted the room, their green leaves offering a contrast to the neutral tones that seemed to swallow everything in a calming embrace. The room was meant to feel safe, but I felt anything but.
I sat on the edge of the plush couch, my posture rigid, every muscle in my body coiled tight. My eyes bore into the faded spot on the carpet as if I could burn a hole through it with my gaze. My fingers dug into the hem of my kurti, nails biting into the fabric.
Dr. Mehra, sitting across from me in that too-soft chair, observed me with the same infuriating patience he always had. His gaze was steady, but not in a way that felt intimidating—just watchful, careful. It was the kind of patience that made me want to scream. I hated the pity, the understanding that never seemed to reach the core of my rage.
"You've been quiet for a while," Dr. Mehra said, his voice a soft lull that only added fuel to the fire inside. "How are you feeling today?"
My jaw clenched. The words I wanted to say were too sharp, too bitter to be spoken. But they were there, just beneath the surface, clawing at my insides.
"I'm...here," I finally forced out, my voice flat, cold. The truth was, I didn't want to be here. Not in this room, not on this day.
He nodded as if that one word was enough to unravel everything inside me. It wasn't. "You come here every year, on this day. You don't come any other time. Why today?"
My hands gripped the couch harder, knuckles white. I didn't want to answer, didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he understood anything about me. But the words spilled out anyway, like poison.
"Because it's the only day I remember."
A long silence followed the kind that made my skin prickle with irritation. Dr. Mehra's quiet presence felt like a provocation, a silent challenge to open up, to bleed out my pain in front of someone who could never truly understand.
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